Death's Precious Master
by lemorax
Summary: At the end of the day Harry James Potter was certain of two important facts. He died, and that he was denied the chance to be with his friends and family in the afterlife.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I am currently going through a craving for HPxBleach stories. Unfortunately there's not a lot of good quality stories with this crossover, even though there's so much potential for it. So, I went ahead and wrote something. I hope to continue this, but unfortunately this hasn't been really fleshed out.

I'm not the type of person to give hints as to where my story will be going. However, I would like to point out that there will be **No Slash**. I do not do much romance scenes, due to the fact that I suck at writing such scenes. It might change later on, but definitely not anytime soon.

I hope you enjoy. I welcome any constructive criticism, especially if you notice grammar errors.

* * *

The first thing Harry Potter saw was the sky. It was daytime, around noon. Thin clouds drifted by. He heard the rustling trees and muted chatter a bit far. He felt the uneven ground irritating his back.

And finally he remembered that he died.

He kept looking up at the sky, not moving nor seeing. The sudden awareness of his death was a punch to the gut. He's dead, he _knows_ he's dead. He remembers the pain of his magic crying to get out. The warning tingle reverberated through him, until his body exploded and destroyed everything within a 100 meter radius. The last few moments alive were painful and terrifying, but he wouldn't change it for the world. It was worth it, his death. For Voldemort went down with him.

Harry sat up when he finally calmed his mind. At the end he was certain of two important facts.

He died.

And that he was denied the chance to be with his friends and family in the afterlife.

* * *

Yamamoto Genryūsai Shigekuni, founder of the Gotei 13 and Captain-Commander of said organization, was in the middle of his favorite past times; checking out this years' incoming students of Shin'ō Academy (which he founded and even taught there for a time). Yamamoto loved checking on the students like a grandfather loved seeing new grandchildren. His eyes crinkled whenever he saw their eyes lighten up after performing their first kido spell perfectly. A couple times his thick white moustache helped hide his grin when a child would make a hilarious blunder. His current favorite was when one student had a hakuda match while he was still clearly wasted. The moves he performed to win the match were… unique.

Ah, youth.

Surveying the small body of nervous students, Yamamoto focused on checking their reiryoku. So far, all of them had a decent amount. He was happy to note that a good handful had reiryoku levels close to seated officers. There were no prodigies in this new batch; then again, prodigies only come once a century. Hitsugaya was the last…

Wait.

Old eyes sharpened and looked at one particular student. The child looked average. Black hair, slightly shorter than his peers. He looked frail, but then Ukitake Jūshirō looked frail and was still hailed as one of Gotei's most powerful captains.

 _That brat,_ he thought, _He's_ ** _controlling_** _his reiryoku!_ What was even more surprising was that this boy, this child, manipulated it in a way that made it seem that he didn't exist! He doubted even Kyōraku Shunsui, one of the best at sensing Reiryoku, would have noticed this strange phenomenon unless he was told beforehand. Yamamoto's eyes narrowed and prodded deeper.

So tightly controlled, he couldn't have been self-taught! One of the captains must have found him and taken the child under their wing. A deeper look and… a shikai! Already? Then why isn't he already part of the Gotei 13? None of his captains would have shipped him off to the Academy if this child already achieved shikai. Not even the currently missing Shihōin-

All thoughts were brought to a standstill when cold, green eyes straight straight into Yamamoto's own. Tension coiled between the two, the boy's shoulders tensing and eyeing Yamamoto's stoic stature. Then the impossible happened.

The child's reiryoku simply disappeared.

Yamamoto's eyes widened in astonishment, his jaw slackening at the bewildering situation occurring. No one should have been able to fully hide their reiryoku from _him_! He could feel every soul within Sereitai if he wished, but he can't sense this one boy still wet behind the ears? He kept on prodding deeper, bringing forth spirit ribbons to search for the child's thread but only proving that _it wasn't there_. It was almost as if he didn't exist! With each failed attempt Yamamoto looked at the boy to make sure the boy's chest rose up and down to show he was breathing.

After his last attempt of using reiraku, Yamamoto saw the child's face changed. Instead of the cold glares, his green eyes were now sparkling in amusement. The child knew what he was doing.

Before the Captain Commander could pursue the anomaly further the front doors of the Academy opened, allowing the students to enter and attend their opening ceremony. With one last taunt, the child gave a jaunty wave (such a disrespectful little child…) and followed the rest of the students inside the academy.

As the front doors slid closed Yamamoto knew that this green-eyed child will make waves in Sereitai for years to come.

* * *

"Soutaichou? is something bothering you?" If Nanao-chan heard such respect coming out of his mouth, Shunsui thought, then his poor lieutenant would have had a heart attack. But his old teacher's unusual behaviour concerned him and his good friend Jūshirō.

The three always met in Yamamoto's office every week for idle chatter and the occasional lecture their old sensei would give to them. It was a routine that the three coveted mostly because of their close relationship. However, for the past six meetings Yamamoto was acting odd. The captain was constantly distracted lately, always looking out of his office window and staring off into the distance. Many times Shunsui felt his sensei check his reiryoku, almost as if he was making sure he was still alive. He asked Jūshirō one time if Yamamoto did the same to him, and his friend believed that Yamamoto was checking him more than Shunsui.

The old Captain let out a sigh, idly tapping his staff on the floor. "You could say that, Shunsui." Yamamoto's brows furrowed as he thought of a way to explain what exactly was troubling him. He eventually straightened up from his seat.

"Tell me Kyōraku, Ukitake."His hands clasped together and tightened his grip on his wooden staff. "Have you ever met a newly recruited shinigami that could completely hide their reiatsu?"

Shunsui frowned, scratching his stubbled chin. "Can't say I have," He answered. "Oh I've had the few fresh recruits that unconsciously lessen the amount of reiatsu they spilled outward, but never to the extent you're asking."

Ukitake nodded in agreement. "Byakuya-taichou was the closest in suppressing his reiatsu, but he was trained at a young age. For one not born of nobility, Hitsugaya-taichou comes to mind. Even still, Isshin-taichou had to teach him how to suppress his reiatsu. Besides," Ukitake looked at the Captain Commander with a raised eyebrow. "Wasn't it you that told us that it's impossible for someone to completely hide their reiatsu?"

"Ah, I believe I heard him tell us that. Something like completely hiding one's presence is impossible, because it'll mean that they're dead?"

He saw The Captain Commander's mouth twitched at Shunsui's lazy explanation. Of course Shunsui remembered this lecture; Yamamoto made _sure_ that the lecture was ingrained in his mind.

"Yes, which brings up to my current… conundrum." Yamamoto turned and looked out through his office window, his gaze directed toward the general direction of the Academy.

There was a moment of silence, with Shunsui and Ukitake surreptitiously trying to see where their old sensei kept on looking to.

Yamamoto let out a sigh. "Well, I believe that showing will make it easier to believe than explaining." The old man stood up, looking at the two other captains. "Shall we move our conversation closer to the Academy? I believe that what you'll witness will be quite… eye opening."

* * *

He was there again, that weird old man. Always with his wooden cane that he obviously didn't need to keep himself upright. Always focusing his little reiryoku probes on him whenever he was about to cast a kido spell or practice his hoho. If this keeps up, Harry thought, then he'll have to confront that old geezer and tell him politely that he doesn't take kindly to pedophiles.

"Kago, stop spacing out! Perhaps If you focused more than going into your own little world, your zanpakutou would have taken form by now!" He ignored the sniggers of his classmates and let out a huff. Of course that bastard of a sensei picked on him. He was the only one in his year that still had a blank sword.

"Yes, sensei~"

 _Clonk!_

"Brat, be more respectful to your betters!" Harry would be more respectful if he didn't have an old man stalking him and teachers that are only good at screaming at people's faces.

 _Insolent mortal, how dare you hurt MY master! Beautiful, beautiful master… Oh how magnificent it'll be, my master, to have this mortal writhing in the ground, begging and BEGGING_

Harry ruthlessly closed off his zanpakutou from his mind once more, suppressing the cold shiver that raced down his spine. According to the Academy teachers, meeting your zanpakutou spirit is the most 'magical' moment of your life. That day should be exhilarating, awe-inspiring, enlightening to your true self.

Well, it was enlightening in a sense.

The first time Harry met his zanpakutou, he didn't even know who he was. All he saw was a crazed maniac proclaiming that from then on, he will always be with him. Now if this proclamation was said by a normal looking person or heck, even a bloody snake, he wouldn't have minded. But this was said by Kuroshibyō, Black Death. This was said by a man with a missing right eye, and sickly pale skin. This was said by a _thing_ with half of its body emaciated, the other half bones and _no skin._

It didn't help that right after that meeting,Harry was thrown back to reality feeling mind-numbing pain through his entire body. It was worse than being put under the cruciatus curse, on par with the build-up of his explosive death. And as he screamed and screamed and _screamed_ , all he heard inside his mind was this crazed maniac. This zanpakutou, _Black Death_ , Kuroshibyō, laughing and laughing and _laughing_.

So no, the meeting with his zanpakutou wasn't filled with rainbow shitting unicorns.

"KAGO!"

 _Clonk!_

Goddamnit, he can't take much of this abuse anymore.

"Sorry sensei,"

"Saying sorry won't change the fact that you still haven't finished your katas!" The instructor let out a sigh, leaning on his zanpakutou. It was clear that Ueno-sensei was tired of having to teach a 'worthless student'.

The fairly large sensei levelled a glare at Harry. "As punishment for not concentrating _again_ , your kata exercises will be doubled from now on until your zanpakutou manifests. You are also to complete the new regime today, and clean up this place once you're done."

As if trying to intimidate him, Ueno-sensei leaned forward until their noses were inches away from touching. "And I will know if you're cutting corners, Kago. got it?"

"Yes sir." The instructor was still displeased with Harry's nonchalant reply, but still called the lesson for everyone (except Harry) finished.

He ignored his classmates' relieved sighs, and the arrogant few that shot barbed comments about his 'shoddy sword swings'. Harry wasn't interested in acing every lesson like some prodigy. In the end the Academy was a place to waste his time. A place for him to adjust to his current shitty situation.

When the last of his classmates left the courtyard, Harry started going through the kata exercises. With each swing he placed more strength to it. With each step he made sure that his footwork was cleaner, sharper. As the seconds passed by his swordsmanship became more fluid, more -

"Don't you think it's a bad idea hiding your potential from Ueno-sensei , young man?"

Ah, almost forgot about the old man. At least with this guy, he could show a bit more of his real personality.

Harry just stopped himself from jumping when he found the same old man was _five feet_ away from him.

 _He must have been a captain before he retired_ , Harry thought.

Harry lowered his sword and sent a scathing glare at the old stranger. "What do you want, you old geezer?"

Said geezer raised one eyebrow up, "Quite rude, youngsters are these days."

His eye twitch, "Oh I have every right to be rude, you weird pedo. Why do you keep on showing up here and sending your bloody probes on me?"

Stifled laughter from his right caught Harry off-guard once again, making him turn around to see the source of the noise. Two more men were walking toward him. While they were not ancient like the creeper, they were clearly older than most of his teachers in the Academy.

Harry looked back at the old man. "More creepers?"

The guy just had the audacity to laugh at Harry's face.

* * *

Honestly, this was the most fun Yamamoto had for a long while. Even before the Gotei 13 was formally established, he was respected and awed by all. He saw the admiration more of a curse than a blessing. For how can the Gotei 13 continuously evolve and improve if everyone took his suggestions as law?

The only people left who would casually speak to him were his two old students and his Lieutenant, Chōjirō Sasakibe. Even still, the three wouldn't dare insult him so casually like this young boy in front him.

Who was currently trying to give him a stink eye. Honestly, Yamamoto just managed to stop himself from pinching the boy's cheeks. So adorable, trying to intimidate _him!_

"Those two 'creepers' happen to be my former students." Yamamoto replied.

The child scoffed. "Oh, so now you're also teaching _others_ how to stalk young innocent Academy students?" The boy's green eyes widened for a fraction of a second, shoulders hunching, before he swung around and glared at Shunsui.

"Oi, that still doesn't give you the right to bloody _probe_ me!"

Shunsui blinked in surprise. "You can sense them?"

"Of course I can! You were less subtle than your pervert of a sensei here."

And now Yamamoto could see the interesting glint in the two captain's eyes. when he brought Shunsui and Jūshirō to watch a couple first years in the Academy going through a zanjutsu lesson, the two were puzzled and unimpressed at what they saw. They believed they were going to be introduced to another Gin or Hitsugaya, flying through their katas and blowing away their peers through their sheer presence. After dropping some hints, the two begrudgingly (more in Shunsui's side) stuck around, even after the class ended and all but the 'incompetent' student left the courtyard.

And that's when the boy showed his skill.

The movements were fluid as the boy flawlessly went through the stances. Each step he took barely rustled the dust in the ground, every swing with his zanpakutou made the air sing. It was simply beautiful.

With just his zanjutsu skills, Shunsui and Jūshirō would have checked the boy as a potential seated officer. The fact this young _first year_ knew Shunsui was checking his reiryoku, though, had his two captains know that this child could easily become Captain material. Now their curiosity was definitely peaked.

"You must have excellent control of your reiryoku, child, if you were able to sense Shunsui."

A scoff, "Please, they're your students. They learned from _you_. Naturally I'd be able to tell sense _him_ if I could sense your little probes." The boy then turned back to him, "And just so you know, jeezer, I'm not a child. You no doubt heard Ueno-sensei yelling out my name to the heavens a while ago, so use it."

Yamamoto stared right back, his eyes glittering in mirth instead. "I will use your name, child, once you ask who _we_ are instead of thinking up of interesting nicknames for us."

"All I need to know about you guys is that you're old retired men that are so bored at home that you spend your time checking the future shinigami troops to reminisce of the good 'old days'."

Jūshirō spluttered, " _retired?!_ You think we're retired?!"

And finally a flash of fear passed by the boy's face. His grip on his sword handle tightened to the point that his knuckles whitened. His green eyes, usually glittering with mirth, was impossibly wide and full of fear.

"Wait, you're still shinigami?" The boy focused those eyes on Yamamoto, as if pleading that what Jūshirō said was a lie.

Yamamoto just gave the boy a bland smile. Looks like he'll have to accelerate his plan a bit more than he would have liked.

"Ryūjin Jakka's shikai hasn't been released in over a century." He tapped his wooden staff on the ground. "Let's have a spar, boy."

"You didn't answer my question."

Yamamoto let a bit of his reiatsu out, enough to have unseated shinigami officers to fall to their knees. As he expected, the boy didn't even feel the change in the air.

"Yama-" He cut off Jūshirō before he could continue.

"I'll answer your question after the spar."

"So you guys are still officers!"

"No, the three of us are not shinigami officers." _We're captains_ , Yamamoto thought.

The boy's instinct was sharp, for he still felt something was amiss. His eyes darted toward Jūshirō and Shunsui, the latter tilting his sakkat to hide his sharp grey eyes while the former was squirming to speak up. It was obvious that Jūshirō believed the spar shouldn't happen; he still believed the child was not strong enough to handle Ryūjin.

But it seemed that Shunsui had a similar hunch with his own; the boy still has more power than what he revealed to them.

"Oi you, whitey, what were you gonna say?" The boy was stalling for time; more like grasping at straws.

"Let's start, shall we, Kago?" Holding his staff in the air, the wood burned away to reveal his the real form of his zanpakutou.

"Wait, you're going to release your _shikai_ to - "

Six beams of light suddenly appeared and slammed into Ukitake's midsection, stopping the 13th Captain who was seconds from jumping into the fray.

" _ **Bakudō 61: Rikujōkōrō**_ "

"Shunsui?!"

"Just watch, Jūshirō. The boy's more capable than you think…"

At that point the boy was entirely spooked. "W-what the hell! I'm getting out of here!" _Wrong thing to say to an opponent_ , Yamamoto thought. _It just makes them strike faster_.

Before the boy could so much as think of using shunpo, Yamamoto slid his sword from its sheathe. " _ **Reduce All Creation to Ash, Ryūjin Jakka**._ "

It was still. Oh so still.

Then the Academy building _groaned_ with the sheer weight of the reiatsu coming forth from his zanpakutou's release. Yamamoto could hear cries coming from inside the building as students and shinigami were forced to go to their knees from his reiatsu. Closer to the center of Sereitai all of his captains no doubt felt the release of his shikai; Unohana-taichou was already shunpo-ing toward the Academy to help the unfortunate souls cope with Ryūjin's sheer presence. But for Kago, who was just a few feet away from him…

Kago wasn't even effected by the release of potent reiatsu.

No, what the boy focused on was the fire engulfing Yamamoto's blade. Beads of sweat started to form on the boy's brow as took a step away from the heat.

The child was effected by the heat of an inferno _five feet away from him_ , and not the reiatsu that was enveloping the whole courtyard.

Yamamoto couldn't help the smile stretching across his face. Yes, this boy's extremely powerful.

"Get ready," That was the only warning Yamamoto gave before he shunpoed behind the boy and swung his sword down on the boy.

* * *

Red.

Orange.

White.

Those were the only three colors that Harry could see at the moment. The colors that seemed to be what fire consists of.

 _Fuck_ , Harry thought as he stepped away from the old man and wiped the sweat already forming on his brow. _Fuck. My. Life._

 _What is up with old men wanting to kill me?!_ He thought he was done having that type of problem; Dumbledore was dead, and Voldemort exploded when Harry's body exploded. So why did he had to have a Dumbledore-esque man wanting to fry him to a crisp?

 _At least the other two jeezers aren't vying to kill me_. In fact, said two were jumping away, one of them held in a bakudo spell while the other held tight to his straw hat. _No doubt they'd be shunpoing right back if I managed to kill this pyromaniac first_.

Harry was brought back to the present when the old man said, "Get ready." Harry gripped his sword tighter, looking forward and ready to block a strike -

Only to find the man was now behind him, the fiery blade drawing ever so closer to his open back.

 _Fuck!_

He knew at that second it was over. His life, his dreams of finishing the Academy in six years and becoming a shinigami officer after going down the drain.

It was over the minute he felt blood erupting from his back and he opened his mouth.

* * *

With one more reiatsu surge the bakudo spell collapsed and Ukitake Jūshirō was free.

Free to sheathe his zanpakutou and point it at his friend. "Shunsui," Jūshiro growled, "Give me one good reason why I should not strike you for allowing the soutaichou to release Ryūjin at a _student_."

His fellow Captain just tilted his hat upward, staring back at him. Jūshiro just pressed his blade closer to his friend's neck. "Shunsui…"

The 8th Captain opened his mouth, no doubt to give a half-assed answer. Because in the end, the boy was dead. No one could handle the heat of Yamamoto's shikai at full blast; not even he and Shunsui could. It was a waste of a potentially strong shinigami, a waste of a young boy.

" ** _Spread Despair Across the Lands, Kuroshibyō_**."

In an instant the immense reiatsu was gone. The sensation of large hands wrapping around his neck and ringing every breath from him evaporated in an instant. He could breathe normally again. The Academy structure stopped groaning and creaking. The sky looked _bright_ again.

He knew what Shunsui was feeling at that moment, for he was thinking the same thing; what sort of _monster_ was able to neutralise Ryūjin's reiatsu so easily?

"Well, your zanpakutou's form is quite unique Kago-kun."

"Heh, says the man with the fire sword." Jūshirō could barely feel his legs. His grip on his zanpakutou's handle was strong enough his fingers hurt. He didn't want to see, but his head still turned towards the courtyard. From the corner of his eye he could Shunsui do the same, holding his sakkat like a lifeline.

The scene before him was shocking enough to have Ukitake drop his zanpakutou.

* * *

Yamamoto chuckled, "Fire sword? is that all you can say?"

The boy laughed, has back still facing him. "I can't really think of anything witty to say, you crazy old man. I'm a bit pre-occupied at the moment."

Yamamoto doubted it; after all, both of the boy's hands were free. It was just his back, which had six black gleaming blades jutting out and tearing through the boy's white kosode that stopped his strike. The shape the blades formed made it looked as if the boy's ribcage popped out of his skin. Where the skin broke through dark red blood trickled down the boy's back.

Having such a zanpakutou that would make its weirder bleed with every time it is used would have made Yamamoto worry. But there were other more pressing concerns. Like the fact that his reiatsu was negated by the boy's own. _Such a frightening zanpakutou Kago has,_ Yamamoto thought. _Black Death; a fitting name for such a dangerous blade_. Indeed, if any of his other captains faced this boy's blade, the true power of Kuroshibyō would have bled through. For the minute his blade clashed with Kuroshibyō, Ryūjin's fiery blaze spluttered to a stop. No, the zanpakutou wasn't dangerous just because the way it was wielded; it was dangerous because it sucks the energy of whatever or whomever touches it.

"Well," Yamamoto said, "I wonder what else can your zanpakutou do?" For one thing, no matter how much force he pushed on his Zanpakutou the boy wouldn't budge. Yamamoto shunpoed away and appeared in front of the boy. As expected the second the two zanpakutous stopped touching Ryūjin became alive again. He paused for just a second to let the boy see him before he attacked once again. That small pause should be enough for a boy of such caliber to react.

Sure enough just as he thought his blade would strike through he was brought to a screeching halt by the child's _raised arms_.

Ryūjin's fire was extinguished once again as the screeching of metal on metal filled the air. _Hmm, it seems that his zanpakutou could also spread across his arms._

"Aaaargh!" Well at least this child wasn't some invisible deity. His arms can't handle so much weight.

Using this to his advantage Yamamoto pressed forward, placing more strength and having the boy fall to his knees.

"FUCK!" The boy's arms were trembling from the weight. Any second now the boy's arms would break and the spar would end. For it had to end; Unohano-taichou was almost here, and the Academy students were stomping towards where the reiatsu surge happened.

With one last push the boy's arms caved in followed by a long, drawn out scream. Yamamoto took a step back, sheathing his zanpakutou and raising his palm up towards Kago. " _ **Bakudo 63: Sajō Sab**_ -"

" _ **Byakurai: Hebi no kousou**_."

Before he could react at the twisted kido spell, a stream of lighting _in the form of a snake_ raced towards him and bit at the his shoulder. From the two puncture wounds the energy entered inside his body and electrocuted Yamamoto from the inside out.

The power of the kido was enough to have the Captain Commander fall on one knee and bite bottom lip to stop him from screaming.

It still wasn't enough to stop Yamamoto from casting a shō and Kyokkō at the boy, hiding Kago from Unohano who just arrived at the Academy's courtyard and the curious students and teachers entering the courtyard from its front doors.

"Yamamoto-taichou!"

"Soutaichou? He's here?!"

"Holy cow, Ukitake-taichou and Kyōraku-taichou are here too!"

As he allowed Unohana-taichou to heal his wound and heard Jūshirō and Shunsui spinning a lie as to why they visited the Academy, Yamamoto looked toward where he pushed the child - no, opponent - into. Yes, he was right from the moment his eyes fell on this boy. Kago will be making waves in Sereitei.


	2. Chapter 2

Despite the severity of his arms (bent unnaturally, like two extra elbows), the pain only hit after Harry was pushed back by the old man. One minute his arms were creaking under the strength of the man, the next his arms just collapsed.

His scream just spilled out of his lips, at first due to the utter shock of how disfigured his arms are. But when the pain neurons finally reached his brain, his yelp mutated into guttural cries.

 _Master!_

It was so long since he went through such pain, the last time before he was sent to this god forsaken place.

 _Kill the filthy soul, that pile of rotting flesh!_

Cradling his broken arms close to his chest, he looked through his fringe to watch the old man. Oh, he knew he was at a huge disadvantage from the start, considering that all the experience he had with swords was just the incident with the basilisk. The katas didn't count; they were just a dance routine, a choreographed movement.

 _That mongrel, he sheathed his sword! He's underestimating you. YOU!_

 _I can't just shunpo out of here anymore, I'm too weak._ A quick glance to the side showed that the other two men would be of no use; they were just standing there like gaping fishes. _Fuck, just call it a loss._

 _You can win, master! Wield me, use me!_

Raising his hands in surrender was impossible at the moment, so calling it out was the only way…

The old man raised his palm towards him.

"Bakudo…"

 _Kill him, my lord._

Suddenly, Kuroshibyō's suggestion sounded more reasonable.

He ignored the pain rushing through his left arm as he jabbed his middle and forefinger towards the man.

" ** _Byakurai: Hebi no kousou_** _."_

The serpent, so much like the beheaded Nagini, shot out in a spray of bright light, static electricity dancing through its body. He couldn't help but smirk as the spell hit its mark, grin as the man had to bite his own lips to keep himself from yelling.

 _Finish him, finish him!_

" _ **Shō**_ "

It was the last thing he heard before he was forcefully slammed on one of the courtyard walls and lost consciousness.

* * *

Yamamoto knew he didn't imagine it. He knew he saw it, the insane smile stretched across the child's face after the variated **_Byakurai_** spell bit him.

It looked a bit too much like one of Ichimaru-taichou's smiles.

But, it was only that one second that it slipped through. One second over the course of months.

Shunpo-ing through Sereitei, the Captain Commander held Kago in a fireman's carry, Unohana-taichou leading the way to the 4th Division's medical building. The woman noticed the injured boy the minute she finished tending to his wounds. After an exchange of stares and silent glares, Unohana eventually followed his lead and turned a blind eye. Yamamoto knew he was going to get an earful though once the two were alone though.

They finally stopped at the back entrance of the building, Unohana leaving the door open to allow Kyōraku and Ukitake to come in; the two were only a few flash steps away. "I have a private room next to my office. The boy can stay there until he heals, and you can explain why on earth you released your shikai near students of all places."

Yamamoto shifted his hold on the boy, his right hand still carrying his sheathed zanpakutou. "It was necessary," he grunted. "This boy, Chigusa Kago, possesses a massive amount of reiryoku that will one day exceed mine. He had to be tested."

The 4th Captain's steps stuttered for just a second, but she eventually gained her composure. She didn't reply at his absurd statement, just brought them to the room. A second after they entered Kyōraku and Ukitake arrived. Ukitake stayed closest to the door, placing a simple barrier to warn him of any eavesdroppers. Kyōraku settled next to the only window opposite from the door, bringing the blinds down.

"Place him down gently," Unohana emphasized, casually ripping away the Kyokkō. "Your **_Sho_** held enough power to break at least two of his ribs." Yamamoto knew she was right. He felt the boy's blood dripping down his arms while they traveled.

Kyōraku let out a long whistle. " You sure didn't hold back on him."

"Which was completely unnecessary," Ukitake hissed. "What gave you the impression that he could handle Ryūjin Jakka?"

Yamamoto chose to sit on the only chair in the room, positioning it beside the bed. He gave a piercing glare at his 13th Captain. "Did you not check on his reiryoku?" Said man narrowed his eyes.

"Just because he could seemingly erase himself from existence doesn't mean he can take you head on! And _you_ ,"

Green eyes now bore down on Kyōraku. "How _dare_ you place a bakudo spell on me! You were the last person I expected to blindly follow orders on a half-baked assumption."

"It wasn't half-baked Jūshirō."

"Oh really? Care to enlighten me on how you believed this boy, which we just met today, can take on the soutaichou!"

"Because I was already focusing a large amount of my reiatsu on him before Yamamoto struck. The kid didn't even notice it."

It was awhile since he saw his old students arguing this ferociously. It was even rarer to see the normally composed Ukitake breathing heavily, white hair in disarray and red blotches splashed across his cheeks. Shunsui's last comment stopped Jūshirō for a moment, before he built his anger up once more.

"That's still not enough of an excuse to allow Yamamoto-taichou to release his shikai, Shunsui."

"Enough!" Unohana's reiatsu swirled around the room, wrapping around the 8th and 13th Captains. "I understand your frustrations Ukitake, but there is no need for you to block all suggestions that are against your own. You are one of the oldest standing captains of the Gotei 13; act like one."

Making sure that the tension left Ukitake and Kyōraku, she pulled her reiatsu back. "Now, while the two of you were arguing, I was able do a simple examination of the boy." Her hands were glowing green, hovering on top of the child's chest. "As expected, he had three broken ribs, two on the right, one on the left. One rib scrapped his left lung, but it's already healed. Both his arms were obviously broken, ulna and radius snapped cleanly for each. There was surprisingly no burns in any part of his body. Care to explain, Yamamoto-taichou?"

All three pairs of eyes looked toward their superior, who had his eyes closed. "Ah yes, the burns." He rested his zanpakutou on his lap, staring down at Ryūjin Jakka. "I had to make sure if it happened, and just spoke with Ryūjin. My assumption of the boy's shikai was correct." Yamamoto stared at all three of the captains in the room.

"His zanpakutou drains anything and anyone that touches it of its reiryoku at a terrifying rate."

The green glow surrounding Unohana's hands sputtered to a stop as she immediately stepped away from the boy.

"I-impossible." Ukitake's eyes were wide, more in shock than in terror. "Such a technique, no. Such a spirit…"

"Are we dealing with a cannibal, Yamamoto? Because that's the only explanation why the boy's inner spirit has such an ability."

"Already considering the boy a threat?! After all we've done to him?"

"You heard the release of his zanpakutou, Jūshirō. 'Spread _Despair_ Across the lands'? The zanpakutou is a reflection of our true self. And after hearing its special ability, this boy's clearly a threat."

"I believe we do not have to worry about Kago becoming a serial killer," Yamamoto butted in. "I've been checking on the boy for the past few months, and any sign of insanity only happened once; when he casted that interesting hado. In fact, I believe it is more of a, what's the word again? Ah, Multiple personality disorder we have on our hands."

Kyōraku scoffed, "A shallow excuse, Yamamoto. We've never heard of such a problem in all our lives; I bet it's the first time you've ever heard of it too, soutaichou."

"Well it's better than just already painting him as a killer!" Ukitake spat. "If you think Kago is a villain in the making, then how about the shinigami of 11th division?"

"Most of their zanpakutou are melee oriented, Ukitake, not _death_ -based."

"I don't see anything wrong with that," Focus was once again on the only woman in the room. She still kept her distance away from the child, but her eyes looked far away in thought. "A death-type zanpakutou. That could just mean that the child had danced with death many times, which lead to his spirit having a connection to such a dangerous element."

A pretty sound explanation, Yamamoto thought, but still filled with many holes. "How about us, Unohana-taichou?" The Captain Commander waved his hands around the room, "All of us crossed with death 10 times more than this little boy could have possibly done. Many other shinigamis at least twice more than him. Why have none of the other shinigamis ever manifested a zanpakutou with a similar element as Kago's?"

She tilted her head to the side, Long braid following. "Perhaps," she muttered. "Perhaps the boy encountered death in a different way, a unique way."

"I'm still not gonna trust the boy, Unohana."

Yamamoto shot a look at his 8th Captain, "I could never ask you to trust the boy. I don't trust him either."

* * *

"Welcome back, Ukitake-taichou!"

"Yes, I'm back Kiyone, Sentarō."

"Ha! Taichou said my name first! Take that!"

"Oh shut up you hag, He only greeted you first because you're a _girl_."

"Nuh-uh, bastard, it's because I'm more powerful than you!"

"Huh?! You wanna say that to my face again?!"

As his third seat officers' hissing streak escalated, Jūshiro Ukitake still kept the warm smile on his face. After hearing Kiyone and Sentarō's never-ending spats for the past 50 years, Ukitake-taichou now equated their screeches and rants with the chirping of birds outside of his office.

 _Honestly those two,_ Ukitake thought, as he left the two to their bickering. _There's no need for them to worry about me._

The second he entered his office Ukitake closed the door and raised a mid-level barrier to surround his room. Reaching under the sleeves of his shihakushō he pulled out a sheaf of paper, a picture of a black-haired, green-eyed Academy student on top of the pile. He flipped the picture over to see "Chigusa Kago" scribbled across.

"To be able to face Ryūjin head on and not even flinch at the massive amount of reiatsu, just what is he?" Ukitake shook his head. Though he witnessed the 'spar' first hand, the white-haired captain was still in disbelief. This Chigusa, he could feel that the boy will eventually be written down as one of the most fearsome shinigamis in history.

 _And Yamamoto wishes me to install such a person as my lieutenant…_ He looked at the lieutenant badge laying innocently on his desk. It still hurt just looking at it. Shiba Kaien, a man that he practically saw as his own son. He still can't bear to think of anyone filling that position. From time to time Jūshirō looked up from his duties, asking Kaien to brew a cup of tea to soothe his nerves, only to be met with silence.

 _And Yamamoto soutaichou wants me to install Chigusa as my new fukutaichou_. He flipped the photo right side up again, looking closer at the picture.

The pain in his heart sharpened.

 _Green eyes…_

 _Unkempt black hair…_

 _And a personality so much like him…_

A teardrop fell on the photo as Jūshirō slowly slid down to the floor.

"I can't do it, I just can't," the captain muttered. Tears were now flowing freely down his face as he crushed Kago's photo in his hands. "It's still too soon…"

* * *

Unohana Retsu wasn't one of the oldest standing captains of Gotei 13 for nothing. There was a reason why she was the oldest living 'Kenpachi'; she wasn't the founder of the 11th Division just due to her sheer strength.

She had intelligence

She had cunning.

And she was observant.

So while Unohana healed the two bite marks on the soutaichou's right shoulder, she went ahead and healed his muscles from the aftershocks of being electrocuted from the _inside_ out.

As Ukitake and Kyōraku spun the belief that the Captain Commander was testing the students in how to prepare for an opponent that is stronger than their capabilities, she helped Yamamoto subtly take the unconscious, hidden student and deposited the child to the 4th Division's medical facility. Considering the fact that the child was still under Kyokkō, Unohana led Yamamoto to a private room and placed a barrier that only allowed the soutaichou, Ukitake, Kyōraku, and herself inside.

And when the three captains left, Unohana went ahead checked the student's reiryoku levels to see for herself how on earth this little boy was able to negate Ryūjin's massive reiatsu.

The result was enough to almost bring forth Unohana's bloodthirsty nature. So much power and strength in this frail boy. And his zanpakutou; oh this boy must have a strong sense of morals to fight against the utter monstrosity and insanity his zanpakutou composed of. She could practically taste the depravity oozing out of it that was flowing in the boy's _blood_.

A dark chuckle escaped her lips. Oh yes, this child will be _fascinating_.

* * *

As expected, Jūshirō won't be able to make this Kago kid his lieutenant. Sipping the cup of tea his friend offered, Shunsui glanced at the 13th Captain. Dark bags that weren't there yesterday now made Jūshirō looked like he sported two black eyes. His long white hair looked dull; he noticed a few knots here and there.

Shunsui leaned back on his chair. "You don't want him as a lieutenant." Only his centuries of friendship with this man had the 8th Captain notice the pursing of Jūshirō's mouth and the infinitesimal flinch of his eyes.

His friend looked down into his cup of tea, "They look too alike, Shunsui…"

Shunsui couldn't help but agree to his friend's statement. Green eyes, messy black hair. Kago's personality didn't help either. At a distance Ukitake could have coped; the boy was a small thing, probably not even reaching his sweet Nanao-chan's shoulders. But having to see Kago every day, up close?

He placed the cup down. "I can promote the boy to my third seat, push Enjōji down to fourth. If push comes to shove I can just have two lieutenants…"

The suggestion brought Jūshirō out of his melancholy, green eyes widening. "I said I don't want him as my lieutenant Shunsui, it doesn't mean that I won't take him in."

Shunsui raised an eyebrow. "I know how you work, Jūshirō. You'll have a fake smile, pretend that you're all fine and dandy, and then you'll neglect your health until the point of near death."

Jūshirō slammed his cup down and rose up from his seat, green eyes glowing furiously. "You think I'm that weak? How dare you-"

"Oh I dare because that's what happened when Kaien died!" At the mention of his name all spark of fire died down.

Shunsui let out a sigh. "God, you still flinch at just the mention of his _name_. You can't take him in, Jūshirō."

"I can at least try," Jūshiro muttered. his friend's thin hands were balled into fists, shaking and grasping at the haori. His green eyes were now glistening because of the tears he was holding back.

A pregnant pause wafted through Jūshirō's office, Ukitake trying to calm himself down and Shunsui watching his friend under the rim of his sakkat. Judging by unusual silence from the 13th Division barracks, Ukitake's 3rd seat officers were probably trying their best to eavesdrop on the conversation.

Jūshirō sat back down on his chair, his composure back in place. A steel of determination graced his face. "I want to get to know him, before I make my final decision."

Shunsui just shrugged. He didn't see anything wrong with that. Besides, he also wanted to know more about this Kago guy.

* * *

 _… Master… …. … Master…_

It was that cursed title again, haunting him.

 _Master… Beloved master…_

He hated it, hated hearing that one word with all his heart.

 _I need you master… wake up please, beloved…_

It reminded him of Voldemort. It made him think of himself as some megalomaniac tyrant.

 _But you aren't, precious beautiful master…_

How he wanted to get rid of the title

 _NO!_

Long thin nails scraped across his face, drawing a drop of blood before the cuts instantly closed up.

 _No no no no NO!_

He could practically feel the other's killing curse eye boring on his face, gleaming in anger and fright.

 _Don't say such_ ** _hurtful_** _things, master. You_ ** _must_** _be my master._ ** _YOU MUST_**

* * *

All Harry could think was how white the ceiling was. _I'm probably in the infirmary_ , he thought. He's visited Hogwart's medical wing enough times to learn that white everything equates to some form of hospital or medic room.

Harry let out a groan, snuggling deeper into the surprisingly comfy bed. _What did I do to get in here again?_

He tapped his chin. _I didn't get in a hakuda match; no black eye. kido experiment gone wrong? nope, still have my eyebrows._

His thoughts stopped when the only door in the room opened to reveal a woman. _Damn, that's a long braid_.

The woman was without a doubt one of the shinigami captains, for she wore the infamous white haori. Her long hair was kept in a braid, but hung in front for some strange reason.

Her blue eyes looked gentle as she gave him a smile, "Good morning Chigusa-san, it's good to know that you're well after your spar with Yamamoto soutaichou."

It was amazing, Harry would think later, how the woman could give an innocent smile while dropping one bomb after another in just a sentence.

At that moment though, Harry's jaw dropped in horror, eyes bulging. "Who… what… … SOUTAICHOU?!"

 _Oh god, I faced the soutaichou, I faced the goddamn Captain Commander of the Gotei 13…_

 _I called the Captain Commander a pedo._

 _…_

 _He was acting a bit of a pedophile though._

He buried his face in his hands, ignoring the sharp pain that lanced through both of his arms. "Fuck. My. Life!"

The woman tsked, "Now Chigusa-san, since this is your first time here I'll excuse you for using such vulgar words in my presence. But the next time that you do…"

At that moment the woman's kind and gentle smile had a darker, sharper edge. Her face seemed to darken, her braid looking more like a noose.

It was gone in an instant. "I hope that it shall never happen!" She chirped.

 _I never thought I'd find someone on par with Kuroshibyō's insanity…_

The captain let out a gasp. "Oh! I forgot to introduce myself." She clasped her hands together and bowed her head slightly in greeting. "I am Unohana Retsu, captain of the 4th Division."

Harry bobbed his head in response, stopping himself short from reaching out his hand. "It's an honour to meet you, Unohana-taichou."

What followed after was the most awkward silence Harry had ever experienced in his after-life.

When 10 seconds passed by Harry finally realised that Unohana-taichou was expecting him to say anything.

He was still raking through his brain what she wanted him to say after another 10 seconds passed.

At the thirty second mark, Harry finally realised that he was expected to introduce himself.

Harry chose to fiddle with the edges of his blanket instead.

When a minute passed by, the woman finally cracked. "I would like it if you introduce yourself to me in kind."

While he still kept a placid expression, his voice dripped with disdain. "Oh but Unohana-taichou, you already know my name."

"Let me rephrase it then as an order, introduce yourself Shinigami."

"But Unohana-taichou, I am still an academy student…"

"That graduated yesterday with full honours. Congratulations, Chigusa-san on becoming a full-fledged shinigami."

Wait, graduated? Becoming a shinigami? _This wasn't supposed to happen!_ He could feel the woman watching him, observing his reaction to yet another life-changing statement. Judging by his balled fists and pursed lips, Harry could bet that his anger towards his new position could be seen as clear as day.

He decided to give up on the mind games for the moment and focus more on calming himself. It's suicidal to antagonise anyone while he's bedridden, not to mention picking a fight with the person that healed you. No, it's best to play along for now.

"Chigusa Kago, graduated student of Shin'ō Academy."

Unohana's eyes narrowed once more. "That's not your real name, though." Tension filled the room again, as the Captain's blue eyes bore down on him.

Harry still kept his head down. "That's the name that I'll be using for the rest of my life." The Captain thankfully decided to accept his answer.

"Very well then, Chigusa-san." She finally sat down at the only chair in the room, picking up a clip-board from its seat. "After your spar with the soutaichou, I was able to heal most of your wounds. Your arms and chest are fully healed." _Huh, so that's why there's gauze wrapped in both places…_ he stretched his arms out, testing for any lingering pain. _No wonder she's the Captain of the 4th Division, all that's left is just a lingering ache_.

"I am requiring you to stay here for the next two days though. Partly to not have you sprain your muscles, but mostly because you have not been placed into a division yet."

He looked at Unohana, "Not yet? Why? I thought you would've just shipped me to the first division so the old geezer would have his eye on me."

The woman had one of the best poker faces he'd ever seen, for she hadn't even twitched at Harry's interesting nick-name to the head of the Gotei 13.

"The soutaichou is actually aiming to start you off as a seated officer, thought his real goal is to have you as a lieutenant. As of this moment, all lieutenant positions are full except at the 13th Division.

Harry's eye twitched. "You guys… are you _high_?"

"We were, and still am, of rational mind when this plan was thought out."

"Really. Look Unohana-san, I'm not sure if you were there or not but I freakin' electrocuted the _crap_ out of the old geezer. Why on earth would you want to put the person who hurt their leader into a position of power?"

"It's _because_ you scored a hit with Yamamoto that we want you as a lieutenant." Looking over Unohana's shoulder Harry saw the two men from yesterday just outside the door. _They should've worn those robes yesterday,_ he thought, eyeing their white haori's with distaste. _I would've never been in this position if they did._

The man wearing a flower-patterned kimono over his white hoari ventured inside, reaching a hand out to muss Harry's hair. "Glad you're awake, kiddo. Had a nice sleep?"

He slapped the offending hand away. "Shut up you weirdo. Why are you and whitey here anyway?"

"'Weirdo'? Why not 'fabulous-'"

The white-haired man moved forward, his eyes closed but mouth shaped into a warm smile. "We're just here to check on you. I was worried about your health after that spar with Yamamoto-taichou."

"Spar? More like massacre-"

"I"m Ukitake Jūshirō, captin of the 13th Division. You can call me Ukitake, without the honorifics please. My friend next to me is Kyōraku Shunsui, captain of he 8th Division." He gave Harry a mischievous smirk. "You can keep on calling him by the nickname though."

"Maa Jūshirō, I've never seen this side of you before." The two were clearly long-time friends by their casual remarks. But Harry could see there was an underlying tension. They most likely had a recent argument.

"It's nice to meet you again Ukitake-san, weirdo-san."

"Hey!"

 _Yep, gotta love teasing the floral guy. Especially since he stopped Ukitake yesterday from stopping the fight._ "So, you're the Captain of the 13th Division, right? the one with the empty lieutenant position?"

Ukitake opened his eyes, showing its green color. "Yes, I am."

Harry gave a quick once over of the captain. Pale and thin, long white hair. Eyes were a bit sunken, and his clothes were just slightly ruffled. Didn't have a good night's sleep then. While his eyes looked calm, butHarry could see that his smile was strained. He leaned back on the headboard.

"So, I'm just going to be chucked into the 1st Division then?"

All three captains blinked at the random question.

"Because," he explained, "Ukitake-san clearly doesn't like me."

And suddenly the calm feeling permeating the room vanished in an instant. _What did I say? Oh fuck, don't tell me they were planning to kill me all along? At least open the blinds so I can see the sky before I die!_

Unohana straightened up, tucking her hands in the sleeves of her uniform. "You are quite observant, Kago-san."

He let out a weak laugh, "Ah, just happened to have sharp eyes is all. Not unusual right?" _At least, not unusual enough to suffocate me in the middle of the night?_

"Oh no, not weird at all," Shunsui reassured him. "It's just rare for others that are not captains to notice those things."

"Oh, ok. That's good." Harry brushed away a few strands of his unruly hair from his face. "Either way though, it looks like I'll be under the old geezer's thumb in the future."

Ukitake cocked one eyebrow up. "I haven't said that I don't want you as my lieutenant, Chigusa-san."

"True, but you also didn't refute my previous statement. You don't like me."

The 13th captain shook his head, "It's not that I don't like you. It's more that, well, I'm unsure if you can take on the responsibilities a lieutenant has to do."

"Not to mention," Kyōraku added, "that because of Jūshirō's health problems, you'll take a more commanding lead than most others in your position." _Ah, so that's why the 13th Division's lieutenant position is empty. Whoever gets that seat also becomes a captain every once in a while_.

"Then there you have it, I'm not worthy of being lieutenant. Hello old geezer, here I come!" The 13th Captain covered his mouth to hide his smile, but Kyōraku had no shame to laugh out loud. Even Unohana, who kept quiet during the duration of the conversation, had the edges of her mouth quirked up.

Ukitake cleared his throat. "Chigusa-san, you are more than worthy enough to become a lieutenant. You were able to take on Yamamoto-taichou's shikai, and even wound him!" He patted Harry's knee. "You have more than enough power to become lieutenant."

Harry stilled at the man's word, his placid, calm face slipping away. Vibrant green eyes dulled, and his lips did not purse nor stretched into a smile. _Power, oh how I_ ** _hate_** _that word._

"Ukitake-taichou, I don't agree with you saying power is enough to become a lieutenant…"

Harry looked down at his hands. He still remembers the many times when those same hands were dripping with blood. "Becoming a lieutenant means that you are the second in command of a division. The second in command of _protecting_ and _leading_ a great many people into danger." His hands balled into fists. "Wielding a powerful sword is not enough. No, you need someone who experienced death. Someone who went through hardship and pain, glory and hope. Someone…"

 _An acidic ray of green light zoomed towards him, only to be blocked by a snowy white owl._

"Someone…"

 _'Kill the spare!'_

"Someone that is willing to sacrifice their body…"

 _Blood was dripping down his mouth, giving Harry a peaceful smile while his eyes lost all trace of life. The body was enough to stop the sword from impaling Harry's chest._

"…Sanity…"

 _The scream finally tapered down at the fifteen minute mark, only to be replaced by hysterical laughter. She lost; the witch finally succumbed to the cruciatus curse._

"… and morality…"

 _The killing curse struck true, snuffing the life out of the 10 year old boy. 'It had to be done,' Harry thought. 'He saw their hide out. The boy, a child of a death eater, had to die.'_

"If it meant keeping the people under their care alive."

Harry ignored the captains, ignored their stares. Right now all he could think about was the time when he was alive. The blood, the tears, the deaths. Harry was drowning in it, suffocating…

Someone squeezed his shoulder. "Ukitake-taichou?" The 13th Captain's green eyes were glistening with unshed tears, but his smile was bright. It wasn't fake this time around.

"Kago-san, I'd like you to be my lieutenant."


	3. Chapter 3

I'd just like to give a quick thank you for your support. I can't help but smile every time I get a review, favorite, and or follow. Thank you so much!

* * *

"MATSUMOTO!"

The shout was a common thing to hear in the 10th Division barracks. And honestly, none could blame Hitsugaya Toshirou's frustrations over his lieutenant. Matsumoto Rangiku was known for many things. Her breasts, her love of drinking, her breasts, her unusual strength, her breasts, her shikai, and let's not forget her breasts.

But what all 10th Division shinigamis know most about her is her laziness. Don't get them wrong, Matsumoto-fukutaichou is well respected among her subordinates. She was someone who protected her comrades, supported them and left no one behind. Whenever she led them on a hollow raid, all knew with certainty that she'll do her best to protect their lives.

But when it comes to paperwork… well, let's just say that everyone let out a sigh of relief when Hitsugaya achieved bankai and was subsequently promoted as captain.

Speaking of Hitsugaya-taichou…

"Where is that woman.." the 10th Captain growled as he stomped down his division's hallways. White spiky hair swayed from side to side, his hard turquoise eyes narrowed. Just when he was about to move down another corridor he heard it.

His pathetic excuse of a lieutenant's obnoxious laugh. Judging by the hiccups scattered throughout, it was obvious the state of mentality she was in…

A burst of shunpo later and Hitsugaya burst into the room, slamming his door in one of his drunk subordinate's face. "Drinking on duty, how much lower can you sink!" he yelled.

"Oh, Toshiro! Hello there~" Said woman was leaning on the only table in the room, her voluptuous breasts practically out of her shihakushō. Her pouty lips were glistening, whether it could be from saliva or just drinking the numerous sake bottles scattered throughout the room Hitsugaya couldn't tell.

There were at least 5 other shinigamis in the room, most drunk off their heads as they slept or drooled away their inhibitions.

She waved an unopened bottle around. "Do you want to join too? Oh, but I can't let you," A manicured finger tapped her lips. "You're still too young!" In one graceful move Hitsugaya unstrapped his sheathed zanpakutou from his back and brought it down right on his lieutenant's head.

"You, just when I'm about to leave for a meeting, you decided to get yourself drunk off your ass?!" He gripped one of Matsumoto's ears and started dragging her away. "These are the times when I wonder why I still keep you as my lieutenant!"

"Ah, ow! It hurts, my ear's going to pop out because of you!"

"I don't care if your ear hurts!" At last the two arrived in the 10th Captain's office. Hitsugaya let go of his grip and pushed Matsumoto towards her desk. He pointed at the piles of paperwork on said desk.

"You see that, Matsumoto?" he hissed.

"Yes? They're just papers right?" She massaged her left ear. Oh how she pitied her ear.

Hitsugaya's right brow twitched. "'Just papers', huh? 'JUST PAPERS?!'" He slammed his left hand on the tallest pile. "All of these papers were given to you a week ago, which you haven't even started!" She cringed at his rebuttal, slinking lower into her suit. "And guess what?"

She gulped. "W-what?"

"They're due tomorrow!"

Blue eyes widened in shock, then horror when she found out about the deadline. "T-tomorrow?! Taichou!" She grabbed her small captain and pushed his face between her well-endowed chest. "I thought I had two more days to complete this, I swear! Please, you have to help me!"

"Mmph!"

"Please taichou, I'll do anything!" the captain finally managed to move one breast aside to gulp a quick breathe.

"Breathe," he rasped, "Let me breathe first!" The golden blond-haired beauty finally let the poor captain free as Hitsugaya collapsed to his knees and gulped down fresh air.

She batted her eyelashes, So Hitsugaya, _please_ help me?"

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou to you, Matsumoto." He raked his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Fine, I'll help you-"

"Yay, thank you-"

"On _one_ condition." He eyed the seemingly never-ending papers. "If you've gone through at least _half_ of this by the time I get back from the meeting, then I'll help you. And," He took the sake bottle that Matsumoto _somehow_ managed to keep in her hand. "you better not be drinking when I get back."

The woman gave her a lazy salute. "Sir yes sir!"

Hitsugaya let out a sigh. "Ah what am I doing, bringing unneeded stress on me…" He swung his zanpakutou back, tying the strap back in place.

"You're too serious for you age, Hitsugaya-san" Matsumoto was already settled in her desk, pen in hand. "Thankfully I'm here to make sure you don't get too stressed out."

Hitsugaya huffed, "That's what you'd like to think"

There conversation was broken by soft tapping at the office windows. A quick look showed two hell butterflies that wished to enter.

"Hm? Why are they here?" closest to the window Matsumoto let the butterflies in, holding out a hand to hear their message. In the corner of her eye she saw her captain do the same.

 _"An urgent message. All lieutenants are now required to attend today's Captain Meeting this afternoon. This order is officiated by Yamamoto soutaichou in response to a newly promoted shinigami to 13th Division's Lieutenant seat. Again, an urgent message. All lieutenants…"_

A small twitch of her forefinger and the hell butterfly left its post, flying back to wherever they lived. She leaned back on her chair, arms crossed. "Huh, so he finally found someone to fill the post." She looked at her captain, whose brows were furrowed in thought. "Have you heard Ukitake-taichou say anything about getting a lieutenant?"

Hitsugaya shook his head. "No, not at all. However," he scratched his chin. "I was supposed to meet up with him yesterday at a tea shop. He called me the night before to cancel it." Turquoise eyes looked out the window, watching as the two hell butterflies fluttered away. "He sounded a bit distracted. I thought it was because he was behind on some work but perhaps it was because of his new lieutenant…"

Matsumoto looked at the papers swelling her desk, and felt that she was dying a little. _Ah, I'm going to have an all nighter._ She rubbed her cheeks, letting out a long whine. M _y skin's going to pay for this!_

''She looked at her captain, batting her eyelashes again. "Taichou~"

"Yeah yeah," He huffed, "I'll still help you after the meeting."

* * *

"Kira-kun!" A blond, pale man turned towards the call of his name, a gentle smile on his lips.

"Hinamori-fukutaichou, it's nice to see you again." She fixed the man with a pout, her right hand on her hip.

"Kira-kun, no need to be so formal," she punched him on the shoulder. "We graduated at the same time, and we're of the same rank. That's more than enough to just call me Hinamori-san!"

Kira Izuru chuckled, "Very well then, Hinamori-san." The 3rd lieutenant took a sweeping glance at the room he and Hinamori was in. They were in a waiting room connected to the main conference room, where all official captain meetings were held. As expected of any building in the centre of Sereitei, the ceilings were meters tall. Opulent round pillars were organised into two straight lines, paving the path from the exit to the meeting room.

The two were early; the doors to the room weren't even open yet. _The meeting would most likely start earlier though, because of the ceremony. I believe no one knows the identity of the promoted shinigami_. He eyed the captains and lieutenants already here. There was Hisagi Shūhei, staying close to Kaname-taichou. He gave a brief nod towards the 9th lieutenant.

 _Even Zaraki-taichou and Kusajishi-fukutaichou are here._ He took a step back from the 11th Captain. The man felt more bloodthirsty than usual, his reiatsu permeating the air. _Maybe he wants to spar with the new lieutenant? I suddenly feel sorry for the guy... or girl._

"Wow, I've never seen this many people early before." All heads turned to the exit, where 8th Captain's Kyōraku Shunsui sauntered down the hall. The infamous pink kimono fluttered with each step he took, straw sachet tilted upwards to show off his lazy grin.

"Of course they'll come here earlier, taichou, the news of a new lieutenant is almost as exciting as a new captain!" And there was his faithful lieutenant Ise Nanao, frown and glasses in place.

"Nanao-san!" It seems that Hinamori's voice was all that was needed to knock out the woman's frown. With a quick approval by her captain, Nanao headed toward them.

"Hinamori-san, Kira-kun, hello. Where are your captains?"

"Ichimaru-taichou will come well enough." Izuru rolled his eyes. "He was cackling before I left, so most likely he was placing a prank somewhere in the barracks."

Nanao sent him a sympathetic look. "Ah yes, I just managed to talk my captain out from bringing those damn flower petals again." Both sighed at the same time.

 _Annoying eccentric captains._

"Aizen-sama just had to drop by some books back in the library. I offered to accompany him, but he told me to go ahead."

"Ah, that's good to know." _Lucky_ , Kira and Nanao thought. Both longed for the day when their respective captains acted as expected of their positions.

"Nanao, Momo-chan, Kira!" The casual dismissal of honorifics could only mean that Matsumoto of the 10th Division was here. The curvaceous woman wrapped an arm around Hinamori-san's shoulders, giving her a quick hug.

"Ah, it's been a while since all of us met! I believe the last time was two weeks ago?"

"Yes," Izuru said, "Hisagi-taichou was there as well, when we met up at the bar next to the 7th Division barracks."

Nanao-san's eyes narrowed, adjusting her glasses' frames. "Matsumoto-san, have you been _drinking_ beforehand?!"

The woman gave a sheepish laugh, brushing her golden blond hair to the side. "Ahaha, it was a just one bottle, Nanao-san."

"More like twenty sake bottles," Izuru muttered.

"Kira!" It was at that moment when the doors to the council room opened, calling the start of the meeting. The group split up, each heading towards their captains. Ichimaru-taichou came seconds after Izuru entered, his foxy smile already in place. To his despair Izuru noticed that his smile was a few centimeters wider than usual. _Looks like his latest prank will be quite annoying to clean_.

Aizen-taichou entered after, the 5th Captain giving HInamori a warm smile and pat on the head when he went up to her. All the way at the end of the room was Yamamoto-soutaichou, both hands grasping his wooden staff with his back ramrod straight. Sasakibe-fukutaichou was right behind him, head held high. Off to the left of the Captain Commander was 13th Captain Ukitake Jūshirō, his face calm and placid. When Izuru caught his eye the captain just gave him a smile.

And there, standing between Ukitake-taichou and Yamamoto-taichou was the soon to be appointed lieutenant of the 13th Division, the man of the hour.

… er, _boy_ of the hour?

The shinigami was so small, around the same height of 10th Captain Hitsugaya. He stood a step behind his captain, head bowed low to conceal his face. His shaggy black hair didn't help either. He wore the signature shihakushō, which seemed to swallow him; the sleeves were longer than his arms!

 _Prodigies just keep getting younger and younger_ Izuru thought as he chanced a glance at Hitsugaya-taichou. The 10th Captain's frown was deeper than usual, his turquoise eyes looking at the squirming stranger.

When 12th Captain Kurotsuchi Mayuri and his lieutenant slash daughter, Nemu, arrived right on the dot, Yamamoto-soutaichou tapped the bottom of his staff on the wooden flooring three times. A the last thunderous tap the doors slammed shut. None of the captains nor lieutenants flinched at the display.

Except for one shinigami.

"God fucking damnit!" the boy shouted as he flinched at the sound.

Utter silence enveloped the area as all eyes looked at the boy. _Oh, definitely not a good impression_. Across from Izuru he could see 4th Captain's Unohana's face darken, her smile turning a bit too crooked to look warm and innocent.

"Chigusa Kago," Yamamoto-taichou said. "refrain from rude outbursts in the future."

The boy cringed at the rebuttal. "Y-yes old ge- I mean Yamamoto-san"

Izuru's right eye twitch. _Is he suicidal or a fucking idiot?_ He knew what the newly named Chigusa almost said. _He was going to call the_ ** _soutaichou_** _an old man!_

Unohana-taichou's smile started to show her front teeth.

The 1st Captain gave Chigusa a long, hard stare before he focused his attention to Ukitake-taichou. Living up to his character, the 13th Captain acted as if his chosen lieutenant didn't break two unspoken rules right in front of him.

"Ukitake-taichou, do you acknowledge Chigusa Kago as your lieutenant, thus recognising him as the second strongest shinigami in your Division?"

Said Captain stepped in front of the Captain Commander, bending down in one knee. "Yes, soutaichou."

Yamamoto nodded. He turned back to Kago, who was _still_ standing to the side. A pointed glare to Ukitake-taichou's position finally had the shinigami scurrying to kneel beside the 13th Captain. While only the backs of both shinigamis were seen, Izuru could still see the tips of Chigusa-san's ears flushed. "Chigusa Kago, do you accept Ukitake-taichou's request? Do you accept to become the lieutenant of the 13th Division, and shoulder the responsibilities that come along with it?"

"Uh, y-yeah." _Oh god, he's an idiot. Chigusa-san's an idiot._ The urge to face palm had never been this intense until now. Throughout the entirety of this small ceremony, the brat didn't even acknowledge Yamamoto-soutaichou with his full title.

A long silence, until Yamamoto finally spoke, "You may gift Chigusa the 13th Division's lieutenant badge, Ukitake-taichou. May he strive to represent what your Division signifies; hope."

He tapped his staff once on the wooden floor, forcing the front doors to open up.

"The initiation ceremony has ended. All lieutenants may now leave."

* * *

Now, more than ever, Harry wished he had his magic again. _So I can apparate the fuck out of here_.

But alas the newly minted lieutenant was forced to stay where he was, shuffling his feet as Ukitake-san tied the badge on his shihakushō's left sleeve. Oh, Harry knew he made a lot of mistakes. Most likely all the stuck up nobles hate him with an utter passion. _Let me die now. Wait, I'm already dead. Reborn me so I can kill myself again._

Ukitake reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "Calm down, Kago. Yamamoto-soutaichou found your actions more endearing than insulting."

Harry snorted. "I don't care what the old geezer thinks about me. Unohana-taichou on the other hand." Both lieutenant and captain took a quick pick at said Captain.

Her smile was as radiant as the sun.

Harry looked back to his captain. "Ukitake-taichou!" His green eyes were wide and bright, glistening with unshed tears. "May I please-."

"Chigusa-fukutaichou, I'll pick you up later from the medical facility then. _Traitor! You're abandoning your lieutenant already to the devil incarnate!_

Ukitake patted the boy on the head. "Don't worry, the captain meetings take at least 2 hours. I think that's enough time for you to hide from her."

Harry sent him a heated glare, teeth grinding. "Ooh, you're enjoying this aren't you Ukitake-san. You're a devil in disguise huh."

Said man just gave him a smile. "I'll see you later. And please Kago, at least _try_ to be polite when you meet the other lieutenants."

Harry blew a stray strand of hair from his face. "And if I don't want to hang out with the lieutenants?" Nevertheless he shuffled out of the room, making sure he had a good 3 meter distance from the 4th Captain

He was the second to last lieutenant to leave, the 1st Lieutenant sealing the meeting room doors. It was all a bit overwhelming, the sudden changes in his life. Just five days ago Harry was just one of many shinigamis in training, learning the four skill sets that all shinigami are required. And now here he was, wearing the shinigami robes and sporting 13th Division's lieutenant badge.

 _Fate must hate me_.

"You're going to have to breathe, Kago."

"Ise-san!" His head shot up, nearly head-butting the woman on the chin. Thankfully she managed to step back just in time.

She cocked one eyebrow up, giving a cursory glance over him. What she saw didn't please her. "Kago-san," she sighed, "Honestly," She grabbed one of his sleeves and started to roll them up. "You looked like a drowned cat when I saw you in there. And your hair!" Once both his sleeves were folded until his hands were seen, Nanao attacked his hair with vengeance. "It's worse than Kyōraku-taichou's! I know I combed that nest before I left!"

"Goddamnit Ise, stop it! I'm not a _child_."

She slapped the top of his head. "In my eyes, you are. And stop swearing!.

He squinted back, "No wonder weirdo-san complains about you. You're such a nagger."

"What did you say you little punk?"

"Don't tell me your deaf too? Blind and deaf, I think you need to retire now - ow!" It seemed the 8th lieutenant had enough of his insults. Before Harry even finished his first question Nanao grabbed his cheeks and started to pull, _hard_.

"Oh? I should retire huh? I should just go and let some brat run amok? Huh?"

"Ack! Ise-san, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

* * *

Ise Nanao had been Kyōraku Shunsui's lieutenant for seventy years, and knew him even longer. She was exposed to many of her captain's antics, and many of his strengths. He was annoying yet endearing, childish but wise. He had his faults, but she wouldn't have any other captain. It was always the little things that he did from time to time that made Nanao know she can put her life in his hands.

That didn't mean that she never doubted his actions. There were many instances where Nanao wondered why on earth she kept her lieutenant position. The petal-throwing plan (which was annoying and _stupid)_ and his shallow excuses of avoiding his work were prime examples.

At the moment, learning that her captain was pushing for a little boy to become a lieutenant was topping all of the other hair-brain actions Kyōraku-taichou thought up of…

 _She couldn't help but stare blankly at the green-eyed boy in front of him. His arms were heavily bandaged, and she could see more wrapped around his chest underneath his shihakushō. His hair, its length reaching his chin, was messy and wind-swept. His small thin fingers were wrapped around his sword, half his height, that rested on his lap._

 _"So, what do you think?" Her captain wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Won't he make a great lieutenant for Jūshirō?"_

 _She looked at the fidgeting boy - no, child - then back at her stupid, moronic, idiotic captain. "You…"_

 _"Ah, so you agreed-"_

 _Her trusty fan slipped out from the sleeves of her uniform as she slapped Kyōraku with it on the face._

 _"You, how could you drag a poor innocent boy into one of your hair-brained schemes!"_

 _"Ah, wait Nanao-chan-" Her fan kept on swinging, hitting any part of his body she could get; his arms, his shoulder, his head, just anything to make him regret dragging a random boy out of his comfort zone._

 _"Your stupid petals were one thing, but using a child?!"_

 _"Nanao-"_

 _"Ukitake-taichou would be disappointed to you when I tell him about this, and let's not forget about Yamamoto-soutaichou!"_

 _A pointed cough stopped Nanao in her tracks. Standing right next to the boy was Ukitake Jūshirō. He was grinning unrepentantly, and the boy was scowling._

 _"Well, I hope you've got it all out of your system Ise-san."_

 _In quick, silent movements Nanao slipped her fan back inside her sleeves, adjusting her glasses while she faced the 13th Captain. "Ukitake-taichou, I believe you heard what I told Kyōraku-taichou?"_

 _"Yes, however I would have to inform you that it was the Soutaichou himself that proposed Chigusa Kago here," At this he waved his free hand to the boy. "to be taken out of Shin'ō Academy and become my lieutenant."_

 _Her eyeglass slid down in shock. Off in the distance she could hear her captain moaning, grumbling about how his 'lovely lieutenant shouldn't be so violent'._

 _With natural ease she ignored her captain. "R-really?" She looked at the boy, who was pouting. Nanao couldn't help but stoop down to the boy's height. "I'm sorry kid, but I think you're still too young to become a shinigami."_

 _The boy snarled, "I'm not a kid, you violent hag!"_

 _…_

 _"What?"_

 _"Oi, weirdo-san, I think you made a mistake getting this crazy woman as your lieutenant. She'll scare away all possible shinigamis from joining your division."_

 _Oh, how quick the adorable atmosphere the boy portrayed could be shattered the moment he opened his damn mouth._

 _"What did you call me, you brat?"_

 _"Ah, Ise-san, please calm-"_

 _"I said you're a violent hag, you violent hag!"_

She kept her silence, even though she was vehemently against this idea. As she kept on pinching Chigusa-san's cheeks, she can't help but notice how small he was.

Notice how her hand could hold both of his thin wrists without resistance.

Notice his large green eyes, emphasising how _young_ and _small_ and…

Nanao thinks she'll never see what Kyōraku saw with Chigusa Kago. Her captain saw a strong soldier, someone with one of the most dangerous zanpakutous to have ever been wielded.

All she saw was a young boy with world-weary eyes, living without _wanting_ to. And if this boy didn't care about his own life, then how on earth can he care about the lives of a whole division?

* * *

Harry wondered if he was being punished for all the sins he committed when he was alive. It was the only reason why his luck had been utter _shit_ for the past few days.

 _That's the only plausible explanation, to be surrounded by drunk shinigamis._

He sat next to his escape route, a hot cup of tea cradled in his hands. To his left was Ise Nanao, the 'nagging' lieutenant. At his right was a blond pale man. He introduced himself as Kira Izuru, lieutenant of the 3rd Division. While he didn't like either of them, they were still the sanest lieutenants of the lot.

"So what division and seat were you in before you were promoted, Chigusa-san? I've never seen you before." Ugh, _questions_. And one Harry really didn't want to answer. But it would be rude not to answer Kira-san's question. His last name sounded familiar so most likely he's from nobility.

He took a sip of his tea (that was not sake, dammit Ise-san!), "Actually today is my first official day as a shinigami. I graduated from the Academy a few days ago. "

"Eh?! oh man, don't tell me you're a prodigy?" 4th lieutenant Kotetsu Isane whined, her chin resting on the restaurant's table. "Wow, I'm really starting to feel old now."

"If you feel old, what do you think your captain feels?"

"Captain's don't count, Hisagi-san!"

And there they go again, diving into another conversation. Harry let out a low sigh, carefully swishing the tea in his cup back and forth. Seriously, what was Ukitake-san thinking when he ordered him to attend the lieutenant's monthly gathering? _And asking Nanao-san to look after me? Damnit I can't even drink the night away anymore…_

"Chigusa-san, are you really invested in being a lieutenant?" Now _that_ question was out of the blue.

Harry looked up and locked eyes with one Kira Izuru.

"Why'd you ask that?" Or more importantly, how did such a thought come to this guy's mind? Sure, he was quite clumsy during the ceremony, but Harry was certain he showed enough enthusiasm to make it seem that he was nervous. The slip of 'almost' calling Yamamoto 'old geezer' was done exquisitely, thank you very much.

The blond man cocked his right eyebrow up, then shrugged as he took a sip of his sake. It was clear by how slowly he drank his stupid drink that he was making Harry squirm on purpose. At last he placed his cup down. " _E_ _veryone_ in the room could tell that you weren't excited about your promotion."

"Bullshi-"

"It's true." Now Nanao-san butted into the conversation, pushing her glasses back in place. "Matsumoto came up to me after you left, asking if I knew why Ukitake-taichou would force someone to become his lieutenant."

Harry didn't know what to say. He was honestly just, speechless. "Wait… what?"

The 8th lieutenant scowled, "Honestly, did you think we were dumb? That you could hide your feelings through such poor acting? All of us here became lieutenants through years of honing and perfecting our skills. We're not as good at reading body manners like the Omnitsukidō, nor are we as strong as our captains, but we have more than enough experience to notice your displeasure during the ceremony and deduce that you were forced into accepting that position."

Harry could barely hold on his cup. He looked at the other people in the room. While they pretended to be drunk off their arses, Harry finally noticed that they were all sober. _This… This isn't some party. This is an interrogation._

He turned away from Nanao, focusing entirely on Kira. He sent the blond man a polite smile. "What do you want to ask me then?"

Kira's one blue eye bore into Harry, "Asking why would be pointless. Ise-san told us that answer is confidential, and that only a handful could answer it. For how you got into this position, 12th lieutenant Nemu-san gathered information about your short time in the Academy. This answered who you are, but not how and still brought up more questions. Questions that I believe you can't answer because of confidentiality issues again, right?"

Harry's smile became more strained as Kira kept on talking. He bit his bottom lip, stifling his anger. The room was gradually getting quiet; looks like all of them were going in for the kill.

Kira leaned closer till their noses almost touching. "So after much debate, all of us decided that the most important question we want answered is, Will you be able to properly do your duties as lieutenant of the 13th Division?"

A stifling pause, and then a snort. First Harry's shoulders shook, then his chest and finally his entire body. He covered his mouth with his hands to stifle the laughter. Of all things, that's all they want to know about? taking "You, what type of question is that?"

"I believe it's a reasonable question-"

"It's not reasonable, you fuckers!" He slammed his fist on the table, punching a hole through.

"Fuck, this whole 'welcoming the newbie' party was all a farce, isn't it? I know Ukitake-san isn't in on it, he wouldn't have allowed me to go. And _you_ ," The snarl towards Ise made her flinch, but she still kept herself taut and ready. "You lied to him."

Harry let out another chuckle. "'Will I be able to properly do my duties', you ask? Of course not. I've never faced a hollow in my entire life! I just learned the 10th Hado spell a few days ago, and don't even ask about my hakuda matches." Acidic green eyes bore on each lieutenant.

"By that alone, I shouldn't even be a seated officer. But here I am."

Hisagi was the first to answer. He was unable to maintain eye contact though. "Very well, then all of us here - even the lieutenants not present, are willing to help-"

"No thank you." He rose from his seat, "I'll be too busy, and frankly I don't want your help."

"You think we'll accept a no after you told us how ill prepared you are?"

"No. However, do you think _I'll_ accept help from _you_?"

5th lieutenant Hinamori Momo, who was quiet since the start of the interrogation, spoke out. "We didn't ask the question to threaten you, Chigusa-san. We only asked so that we can help you adjust and take care of a whole division of shinigamis." She was trying to cause guilt, emphasizing the lives that he will have to protect and look over. "We're sorry if you interpreted our meanings in a negative connotation."

He had to applaud at the subtle manipulation, the wording that she used that would have made him feel ashamed of his outburst. _Oh I should have paid more attention to them. These guys, while not as annoying as the captains, are still part of the creme de la creme._

Harry nodded to Hinamori, and caught just the _hint_ of smug satisfaction in her eyes. _I'm gonna_ ** _love_** _her reaction after this…_

"Pretty words, but I still won't accept it." He stood up, subtly wiping away the wood dust from his hands on his hakama. He gave a jaunty wave, similar to what Yamamoto-soutaichou was given in their first meeting.

"I'll be off, then. Ukitake-san wanted me to come back once the party was over; doesn't trust me to sneak a sip of sake, that mother hen."


	4. Chapter 4

_Inhale… exhale…_

Acidic, green eyes, glinting with madness and blood.

 _Inhale… exhale…_

Prominent cheekbones now too sharp, too bony and gaunt.

 _Inhale… exhale…_

Hysterical laughter, dark and insane.

Hinamori was the first to break down, clutching her kosode as she took great gulps of air. Oh she was good, pretending that she wasn't effected by whatever the _hell_ Chigusa did. But for everyone else in the room they saw the way she gripped her hakama like a lifeline during her little chat with the new lieutenant, hands shaking like brittled leaves. Isane had to shut down completely unless she wished to faint.

And Ise, beautiful, strong Ise. It was a godsend that she and Kira sat next to their new… 'colleague'. Those two were the strongest of them all, being constantly exposed to such heavy hitters like captains Ichimaru and Kyōraku. 'Holding back' doesn't compute in Ichimaru's mind, and 8th's Lieutenant and captain were together for such a long time that he could let his reiryoku out more freely around Ise.

As for him? Oh, he never felt this much terror since the incident he received the three scars down his right eye.

"What… what did he do?" A look around the room showed that no one could truly answer Hinamori's question.

Ise, now closest to the doors, slid it shut. She absently bit her bottom lip. "A drain in our energy… degradation of mobility and reflexes… it's almost… almost like we were getting _older_."

"He can't possibly do that!" Isane shouted hysterically. "Getting older? Are you nuts? How can he be able to do that!" her vehement argument against it just screamed denial. Isane didn't want to believe it, mostly because she knew that out of the five shinigamis in the room, she was the one that took the most damage of whatever Chigusa did.

And it showed.

The hands that she slammed on the now broken table looked more brittle, leathery. The ends of her eyes had the beginning outline of crow feet. And her silver hair…

Nearly half of it was white now.

Hisagi couldn't help but take a cursory look over his own body. Were wrinkles spread across his face? Fingers stiffer?

"He's dangerous." Kira was hyperventilating, eyes firmly staring at his hands. Hisagi saw his friend try to flex his fingers, only to utterly fail.

"So dangerous…" Kira whispered.

* * *

The first thing Harry James Potter saw was the color white. A White ceiling, a white floor, just endless white. He idly wondered how such a place could feel vast and cramped at the same time. He took his time, adjusting to his new surroundings before Harry finally realized that he was laid out on his back. He stood up, noting that his clothes were the same shade as this room; white. His green eyes and black hair was the only blot of color in this place.

He stretched his arms, rolled his shoulders, and ruffled his messy hair. He blinked, and Death was in front of him.

Or what Harry could presume was Death. Death didn't bring a new color in the sea of monotony, only various shades of black. From the off grey to inky black, Death only brought darkness. The color choice fit its persona though, Harry thought.

Its head - Harry believed it had a head - was hidden by a cowl, weathered and ragged. A skeletal hand, with bits of muscle and skin still sticking to the bones, was grasping a long thin scythe. The blade was black, dripping with blood and surprisingly dull. At most Death could only give Harry blunt force trauma. Cuts or beheading were out of the question.

Where its white eye would be, the symbol of the Deathly Hollows glowed green.

"So, this is the after-life?"

 _Not quite_.

The voice shook him to the core. It rattled his bones, quickened his breath, and made him feel so pathetically weak. It consisted a plethora of voices; the innocent chirp of a newborn babe, the gravely voice of a chain-smoker, the wheezing sighs of an old human. Death spoke for all, and all spoke for Death.

"What do you mean?"

Death raised its scythe and in one strike brought it down, ripping a cut from thin air. The cut quivered, but eventually ripped open. And with that, color could be seen.

Grass, long green blades swaying back and forth, dancing in its own tune. A blue sky, endless and free, with the odd cloud drifting through. Harry saw the colors of nature, and couldn't help but bask in it. Harry was too busy to appreciate nature when he was alive. There was the horcrux hunt, and then losing Hermione…

He looked through the odd window, staying where he was. Death in turn was staring at him.

"Will I be going there?"

 _If you wish_.

His nose scrunched in confusion. Why give him a choice? He was dead, right? Unless he could decide if he wanted to go to hell?

A gentle breeze escaped the portal, brushing across his face. It gradually escalated, the breathe of fresh air escalating to one large blast that forced him to close his eyes.

And that's when he was brought into a hug. Two pairs of arms, one from his back and the other in front of him. The sudden touch forced Harry to open his eyes.

What he saw was the most breath-taking image he'd ever seen.

 _"Harry…"_

 _"Prongslet…"_

* * *

The first thing Harry James Potter saw when he woke up from his memories was the beige ceiling of his room in Sereitei. The first thing Chigusa Kago did was cover his mouth to muffle his cries.

* * *

Ukitake didn't know what to make of his lieutenant. The boy's zanjutsu skills left the 13th Captain's mind spinning; how can he do the kata exercises so flawlessly, but fall like a sack of potatoes with one sword strike? Hakudo and Hoho… it's best to not even think about it. Kago's kido skills, however, showed that he had an inborn talent with the art.

Perhaps his lieutenant will be like Ise-san? Someone that's average in all three other combat arts except kido?

 _But with his zanpakutou, he'll_ ** _have_** _to learn Zanjutsu_. When Kago gleefully told him that the supposed party turned into an interrogation, he shooed Kago into the 13th barracks to sleep and shunpoed to the 'party's' location soon after. He was met with five of the most distinguished lieutenants breaking down in hysterics. Hinamori was grasping her chest, her eyes wide and glassy. Isane was wringing her hands, wheezing and out of breath. And Hisagi, unflappable Hisagi, he was staring at his hands in utter horror.

He eventually wrangled out a reason why _all_ of them were acting strangely from Ise (Kira was too busy muttering under his breath). Ukitake wasn't surprised that they managed to see through Kago's poorly veiled mask during the initiation ceremony. He was disappointed at their callous attempt in wringing out the truth from his lieutenant, and felt resigned when he learned Kago basically gave them the 'finger' in the most roundabout way possible.

Ukitake was shocked, however, at what Kago's reiatsu did when he let it out. He remembered seeing Kira's new wrinkles, Isane's _white_ hair, and Hisagi's stiff fingers. And Ise, stern, steady Ise, calmly removed her glasses and told him that her eyesight deteriorated.

It was fortunate that the changes to their bodies were only temporary. By the next day all five lieutenants were back to their regular... age. The accelerated ageing was eventually connected to Kago's zanpakutou. Similar to how the temperature in the room dropped whenever Hitsugaya-taichou let some of his reiatsu seep out, Kago could also do the same.

Only with a more dangerous outcome.

" _Ōkasen: Kyōgeki no Kōgeki*"_

Kago's right arm, raised as if to protect his chest, became engulfed in yellow light from elbow to the tip of his fingers. Bringing his glowing arm to his side he made a mad dash towards Ukitake. The run was quite slow for a lieutenant, but the unusual kido spell made him wary.

Ukitake raised his sword to parry his lieutenant's spell, his left hand free to cast a quick kido spell if needed. Seconds before the two clashed Kago brought his arm back and thrusted it forward, punching Ukitake's sword.

… Wait, what?

Ukitake couldn't help it but stare dumbfounded that someone actually _punched_ a sword.

His befuddlement switched to utter shock when the kido spell was finally released. From Kago's pinky and thumb the the spell lashed out, Ukitake unable to block the two separate beams with his sword lodged in a _knuckle_.

Thank kami for Hoho.

Shunpoing behind his lieutenant, he watched as Kago's _Ōkasen_ drilled straight through where he would have been and right through the 13th Division's walls.

Ukitake let out a dry chuckle. "Your kido is amazing as always. Now, if only you can lend some of your talent their to your zanjutsu."

Kago shrugged, carefully pulling out Ukitake's zanpakutou out. A simple toss and Sōgyo no Kotowari was back in its owner's hands.

"My zanjutsu skills will come in time. I was in the Academy for less than a year." A quick flick with his right hand had it glow a soft green, instantly healing the slight wound. "I'll eventually learn how to correctly swing my sword around." A chuckle escaped the Captain's lips before he could stop it.

It would still be years before Ukitake could truly understand his lieutenant, but the captain was already starting to grasp Kago's… uniqueness.

He was ridiculously blunt to the point of being rude, yet never passed the line of insulting someone.

He complained at the decades of backlog paperwork piled on his desk, and always started the day attempting an escape from his duties, but still manage to complete the work at the end of his working hours, the reports always thorough and detailed.

He faced everything with a lackadaisical approach, a biting or sarcastic remark just itching to spring out, while his green eyes remained sharp and focused.

Ukitake watched, analyzed, and finally deduced; he saw how Kago liked to catch others off-guard. He noticed how Kago accepted he made mistakes, but strove to work past it and get better. And Ukitake was happy to realize that his mindset was similar to his own. Through time, the two would become a cohesive and formidable team.

But as of this moment, their difference in skills was too vast. It was imperative to bring his lieutenant's combat skills up, but unfortunately he just wasn't in the right position to tutor the boy. _I'll have to tackle most of the lieutenant duties until Kago improves_.

The 13th Captain looked up to the sky. He needed to find someone to teach him, preferably someone within his division. _My third seat officers are out. They're strong but both seemed to have established a detached, formal relationship with Kago._ Most likely because Isane told her sister about what happened during the lieutenant's gathering.

 _How about Rukia?_ Honestly, she would be the best candidate. The only problem is...

"Hello, earth to Whitey! Are you reminiscing about the 'good ol' days' again?" Ukitake felt his eyebrow twitch in annoyance. He'll think about tutors later. For now? For now Ukitake was going to hit his lieutenant for his taunt. While Kago didn't insult him, there was just something with the boy's voice that made him want to hit something.

* * *

In front of the 13th Captain's office a young woman was standing, staring at the closed shoji doors Her black hair was styled into a bob, its length reaching just past her shoulders. A stray strand was hanging between her violet eyes.

 _You can do it,_ she thought. _Just knock, damnit._ Her right hand was held up, just inches from knocking on the shoji doors. _KNOCK!_

"Rukia? Are you alright?" She jumped at the voice, looking up to see captain Ukitake staring down with worried eyes. She didn't even notice the door opening.

She shook her head slightly and gave a short bow to her captain. "Sorry taichou, I just got lost in my thoughts for a minute. Thank you for your concern." The white-haired man just smiled at her, patting the top of her head.

"It's alright Rukia, as long as your fine. Come on in, I've been waiting for you." Ukitake-taichou stepped to the side and ushered her in. He gestured towards a simple wooden chair, placed in front of his desk. "Have a seat. Do you want some tea?"

She settled herself at the edge of the cushion, back straight and hands on her lap. "I'm fine sir, and sorry for making you wait."

He waved her apology away. "I already told you, it's fine! I'm actually a bit grateful that you arrived a bit late, it's been so busy lately after Kago became lieutenant."

Ah yes, the new lieutenant. She clutched her hakama tightly, looking down in her lap.

"You're wondering who kago is, aren't you. I understand, you were close to… to Kaien…"

A wave of misery past through her. _Kaien-dono…_ Her shoulders hunched as she bit her bottom lip. It felt like _that night_ happened yesterday. She could still feel the phantom touches of her lieutenant trying to reassure her, the tap on her heart as he gasped his last parting words to her.

His reassurances didn't change the fact that she killed him.

"Rukia." Violet eyes instantly snapped up.

Ukitake's brows were furrowed, a small frown in place. His hands were clasped together on the desk. "Let me make this clear; what I'll be asking you to do is purely due to your expertise in all four shinigami skills."

"Ukitake-taichou?"

"I need you to teach Koga the shinigami combat arts." _Teach Kago? Teach the lieutenant...?_

Violet eyes widened in horror, skin rapidly paling. "N-no!" The words spilled out before she knew it. "I… I'm sorry sir, but I can't." Silence fell upon the two, but it didn't hide the fact that Rukia was breaking down. The tension in her shoulder could practically be felt in the room, and the minute trembling in her arms or legs didn't help either. She knew Ukitake-taichou was scrutinizing her.

"Can I at least explain why the new lieutenant needs a tutor, and why I asked you?"

 _No._ Unfortunately her silence brought a different conclusion for her captain. "Did you know, Rukia, that I wanted _you_ to be my next lieutenant?"

 _What?_

"It's true; you are the second strongest shinigami in my squad, and you were taught by Kaien personally. You are also well-liked in this division."

Blood was rushing to her head, a furious blush splotching her cheeks. "U-Ukitake-taichou! Please stop!"

He just let out a throaty laugh. It soon stopped as he looked serious once more. "The only reason why I haven't promoted you yet is because you aren't emotionally prepared to take on the position." He leaned closer. "You still blame yourself for Kaien's death."

\- _If you pass your heart to your friends, then you will always live on within them… -_

Ukitake leaned back, letting out an exhausted sigh. "I can't tell you not to blame yourself, for that will make me a hypocrite."

"You're wrong, taichou!" _blood, so warm to the touch, dripping down…_ Her breath quickened, eyes, blurring as she felt tears dripping down her face. "You are not to blame, you weren't the one who stabbed him! Your… your zanpakutou didn't make Kaien-dono…"

\- _Thanks to you, my heart can still stay here… -_

A tissue box slid in front of her, and she quickly took a few.

Silence once again fell upon the two, with only Rukia's sniffles heard. Ukitake looked out through his office window, his eyes shining with unshed tears of his own. Other than that, her captain was the epitome of a hardened and indifferent soldier.

"Chigusa Kago has been excellent in the administrative side of his position. Tomorrow he'll finally be finished with all the back-up paperwork, and he'll start helping me tackling my own workload. For leading and fighting however,"

His hand went up to comb through his long white hair, "The formal ceremony last week was a disaster; he painted himself as an incompetent second in command, when _I know_ that he is anything but. All his skills beside kido, though, are abysmal. Even still, he didn't learn all the kido spells before he was removed from the Academy." He finally looked back at Rukia.

"I need you to bring him up to task. I'll be too busy handling my duties and tasks Kago is currently unable to accomplish, such as training our members."

"How about Kotetsu-san or Kotsubaki-san?"

"You're stronger than them."

"They're still third seat officers, and I'm unseated."

"Only because you're still effected by _that night_." He clasped his hands together, elbows on his desk. "Please Rukia, you are the best person in our division to teach our lieutenant."

She saw how his request - no, plead - was so ernest. And he honestly believed that _she_ could teach the lieutenant.

 _Shouldn't Chigusa-fukutaichou be the one teaching me?_ She already knew the answer for that. Even though she was an unseated officer, she was still a member of the Kuchiki clan. She knew her lieutenant earned a bad impression with her nii-sama. She also heard her nii-sama's lieutenant inform him about what happened in the lieutenant's get-together, how his reiatsu could potentially be _lethal_.

It was enough for Rukia to know that Chigusa-san was taken out of the Academy so early and promoted to the 13th's lieutenant position because he was _dangerous_.

Chigusa-san was deemed too dangerous to learn with the other students in the Academy.

 _Why not ask someone outside of the division teach him?_ Another easy question to answer.

There's a difference in having a lieutenant that _seems_ to be incompetent, and having a lieutenant that is _known_ to be incompetent. The 13th Division's reputation, no matter how powerful their captain is, would be tarnished to have such a weak lieutenant, and as a result little to no newly-graduated shinigamis would want to enter the 13th Division.

She already knew from the beginning that begging off would be pointless; her captain always had good reasons to each of his decisions.

She answered. "I'll teach him."

* * *

"Eh, why are you so short?"

"S-Short?!" Before he could even blink a fist landed square on his face. The punch had enough strength to make him fall to the ground.

"We're practically the same height, you idiot!" He brought his hand to his face and was annoyed to find that his nose was dripping with blood.

"The fuck? Why the hell did you have to punch me?"

The girl - 'cause no way was she over _fourteen_ with a face like that - glared at him. "Because you were rude and disrespectful, you _idiot_."

His eye gave an involuntary twitch. _Stop calling me an idiot, you idiot._

"That's still not enough of a good reason to hurt me. Ah, seriously," He picked himself off from the floor, brushing away the dirt that clung to his back when he fell. "Kid, didn't you learn from your parents that violence isn't the answer?"

The girl's violet eyes darkened, her hands shaking. Instead of one, both were clenched into fists. _Holy shit, is she gonna hit me again?_

"What did you just call me?"

He blinked. "… huh?"

Her glare was downright fierce, teeth grinding together. "You called me a _kid_ didn't you…" _Wait, that's what made her angry?! Why are children these days so sensitive to such meaningless things?_

"Relax, I called you kid in the general sense. The only reason why I called you that was because I don't know your name." _And with that all problems will hopefully go away._

"In the general sense…?" With one swift move she swung her left leg and kicked him right on the chest. "I'm an adult, gaki!" The force of the kick was enough bring Harry to his knees and slide a few feet away. _Shit, I think she broke a rib! And all because…_

He looked at the person in front of him. She was just a few inches shorter than him (a little part of him died when he noticed this). There were no signs of wrinkles or blemishes on her face. While her eyes looked old and weary, Harry immediately chalked it up to her experience as a soldier. Fighting in life or death scenarios will age _anyone_. In the long run, this girl just couldn't be an adult.

"Liar."

Reiatsu suddenly poured out of her in waves. While it wasn't as annoying as the old geezer's, he could still feel it. Quite impressive for her age. "You… I'M OVER ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD!"

He waved his hands in a shooing motion. "Yeah yeah, say that when you look closer in age with Ukitake. At least he's rocking the white hair."

Her body did a full body twitch when he finished talking. At this point her hands were in the form of claws, fingers twitching as if wanting to strangle something. _Probably my neck._ "How old are you then?" she snapped.

A grin spread across his face. "Just turned twenty a few weeks ago."

With that her reiatsu suddenly vanished along with her anger. Her violet eyes bulged in shock, and her jaw was literally hanging. "W-wha, twenty? _Twenty?!_ "

A frown appeared on his face. _What's wrong with being twenty? Is it because of how young I died?_ "Yeah, what of it? I died when I was eighteen years old, and I've been here for two years." _Shouldn't be too young. Look at her. Heck, look at that 10th captain! Bet he didn't even hit puberty yet…_

A quick look at the girl brought him to see her grinding the top of her head on a tree, muttering too softly for him to hear.

"Hey kid, are you alright?" He took a few steps closer to the _clearly_ mentally ill girl. He finally managed to hear her say, "… and to make it all the better, the _boy_ calls me a kid…"

 _B_ _oy..._

Oh. No. She. Didn't.

He grabbed the hilt of his blank sword, slowly unsheathing it. "Oi _girl_ ," he sneered. "You're supposed to be my tutor, right?" She stopped hurting her head but didn't turn around to face him.

"Yes," she said. "Ukitake-taichou told me that I'm to teach you hakuda, hoho, and zanjutsu. I am also tasked in helping you complete your lessons in kido."

He gave the girl a savage grin. "Then let's start with zanjutsu, _girl_."

Said shinigami gave another full body twitch before she finally turned and gave back an equally harsh glare. "Yes, let's start with that, _boy_."

* * *

 _*Kyōgeki no Kōgeki_ \- Pincer attack 


	5. Chapter 5

_I regret not- oh fuck it, I regret everything_.

Harry breathed heavily as he laid down on the 13th Division's training field. His shihakushō was soaked in sweat and clung to him like a second skin. The beating afternoon sun didn't help him either. Calloused hands were red and blistered after hours of clumsily gripping his sword to block Kuchiki Rukia's attacks.

 _The crazy girl didn't even give me the chance to attack!_

"Oi, brat."

A small, dainty foot stomped hard on his stomach. "I didn't say that you could take a break."

He let out a gasped as his hands feebly tried to move the offending foot. The foot only dug deeper into his abdomen. "Fucking… bitch."

A smile graced her small face, glitter and sparkles suddenly sprouting around her. "Huh? What did you say? You want me to _dig deeper?_ "

As she said those last two words he felt the her reiatsu spiking, the weight on him growing to unbearable levels. "Ugh, I give! I give!" The weight was gone in an instant, prompting Harry to turn to his side and protectively curl around his stomach. He coughed a few times, each one rattling his aching body.

"You," he wheezed. "You're still going through puberty and you're already this strong?" He didn't need to look at her to know that Rukia was pissed again. But hey, he had to get at her in _some_ way. At the moment he still isn't fast enough to kick her ass. Literally.

"For the last time I am _not_ a child!"

He scoffed. "If you're not a child, then why aren't you a lieutenant? You have the strength and skills to be one." He let out a long, drawn out groan. "Ahh, why the hell am I a lieutenant? I'm not even strong enough to spar with any of the seated officers, and winning is impossible-"

Tiny hands grabbed a handful of his messy black hair as his head was pulled up, forcing him to stare at furious violet eyes. "My patience have grown thin." Her voice was darker than usual, a low growl escaping her lips.

"You are a lieutenant of the 13th Division. Whether or not you were coerced into the position, it doesn't change the fact that you are now a lieutenant and there is nothing you can do about it."

Her grip finally loosened, allowing Harry to fall down on his knees. He looked up immediately to glare at her. "Oh there's a lot I could do. I could just let people die, I could sabotage hollow raids. There's something seriously wrong with your captain if he allowed a practical _stranger_ to have this much power." he hissed.

"Ukitake-taichou has his reasons for making you as his lieutenant!" She shot back. "He is known in the Gotei 13 for his inquisitive mind and ingenious battle strategies. He's a man that can see who has the potential to grow and how much they can. If he already placed you as a lieutenant despite your abysmal skills the shinigami arts, he is absolutely certain that you are capable to quickly advance your lessens and _become_ a worthy lieutenant."

The girl settled down on the floor cross-legged. "He also won't place you as a lieutenant if you were to sabotage this division. You must've done something that made Ukitake know you won't become a waste of space." An ugly sneer spread across her face. "Though other than the paperwork, I can't see it. You're pathetically weak, and your attitude problems aren't helping anyone."

 _Attitude problems?!_ "I-I'm not some spoiled teenager with temper tantrums! I have valid reasons to be angry about my current situation!" He let out a hysterical laughter, shaking his head. "I know that I'm fucking weak-"

"And there you go complaining again!" Ruck shouted. "You keep on focusing on your faults, your problems and weaknesses, and not on improving them!" Her small hands grabbed onto Harry's shoulders tightly. "Whining won't change anything, complaining how unfair your life is won't do a bloody thing! But,"

At last her voice went down to a whisper, the sound raspy after yelling. "You can do something now, to make your life better in the future."

He snorted. "But what if I just want to be a regular shinigami, and not wear this stupid badge?"

Throughout this first session Rukia always quickly answered his questions, whether it be snide remarks or blunt facts. But for this she just kept silent. the two just sat on the 13th Dvision's training grounds, staring at one another. She gave a knowing look to him, as if saying that the answer was obvious. In truth it was. She reiterated the answer just a few seconds ago, and even throughout the sparring session. But, Harry couldn't stop himself to ask the same question.

He wanted a different answer, he wanted an escape.

Rukia looked up, noting the sun was just starting to set. "We'll continue this session tomorrow morning, at 10am and end at around 5, just like today." She sat up, sheathing her zanpakutou and picking up Harry's blank sword, the latter she tossed till it flopped next to him.

"Tomorrow we'll focus on hakuda. Eat lightly; anything heavy will make you throw up when I hit you in the stomach."

Harry nodded, and watched as she shunpoed away. Once he was sure that he was left alone he flopped down on the floor, idly watching the clouds. Her unspoken answer to his question was obvious. _Being a regular shinigami? Hah! That's an impossible dream now._

* * *

The first thing Harry Potter saw was endless white. The first thing Harry did was close his eyes and repeat in his head that it was worth it, that his sacrifice was worth every ounce of agony he went through to kill Voldemort once and for all.

 _Back so soon?_

Nothing seemed to change the last time he was here. Death still had the ragged hood hiding his face, still held the dull scythe.

Still had the Deathly Hallows sign glowing where its right eye would have been.

 _You promised your parents that you would live for them. And yet you have given your life once more to kill Tom._

Harry tilted his head. "You're more chatty than last time, Death."

It kept silent.

He let out a sigh, ruffling his already messy hair. There wasn't much to do in this white void; might as well chat with the being. "I didn't break their promise, Death. I lived."

 _But you died again in less then one year._

"My parents said to live for them, live a life where I would die with no regrets. And I did, I died with no regrets."

 _How about the boy you killed._

The question took him off-guard, but Harry knew instantly who Death was speaking about. He answered without hesitation. "I do not regret killing the boy."

 _The boy was innocent._

"I know."

 _The boy only wished to protect his mother._

"I know."

 _And yet you killed him_.

"Yes."

A pregnant pause, one that Harry cherished. There was only so much he could take of Death's polyphonic voice.

 _You say you do not regret it, but why are you so sad that you killed the boy?_

Harry looked away from the being, remembering the child. Rigel Lestrange, the child of Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange. He had the eyes of his father, and the face of his mother. And Merlin, he was so innocent. The boy was only six. Six! His world revolved around his parents.

Rigel already had the mark on his arm, The tattoo so large on his thin arm.

Rigel wanted to kill Harry because Harry was a threat to his mother's life.

So the little boy - so wanting to make sure that his mother would be alive to give him hugs and kisses every night - held tightly onto Hermione's arm as Dobby apparated everyone out of the manor.

And the minute the group landed close to Bill and Fleur Weasley's home, little Rigel was scrambling to take Ron's wand so he could press it on his Dark Mark and call Death Eaters to his location.

All for the sake of helping his mother.

Harry didn't have time to realize that Bellatrix fatally wounded Dobby, didn't have time to know where the hell he is or worry how far gone Hermione was. All Harry could notice was Rigel seconds away from having the tip of Ron's wand pressing on the mark.

Harry was an expert in casting the killing curse by then that he said those two words without a second thought.

"Because he's innocent." Silence permeated the air, the Deathly Hallows sign boring down on him.

 _You would still do it again. Kill the boy._

"Yes."

 _Why._

"To protect the people I love."

Then Death did something unusual, something so chilling and haunting.

It _laughed_.

He could hear laughter from all ages, from a baby's gurgle to an elderly's wheezes. Its rigid posture bent forward, hood shivering as Death laughed and laughed and _laughed_.

 _Oh little boy, so interesting. So_ ** _very_** _interesting._

Its head snapped back, the Deathly Hallows clashing with his own green eyes.

 _Was it for the greater good? Oh baby Albus would have taught you well._

"No," The one syllable cut off Death's amusement as it then changed to curiosity. Harry grinned at Death.

"I did it because I was selfish. I was selfish for the safety of the people that I love. Rigel had to die. He was seconds away from calling Death Eaters when we were not in any state to fight back." Harry took a shuddering breath.

"And I had to kill him myself. Kill him so that his blood will be on my hands, so that the sin will be on my shoulders."

 _So you are both selfish and selfless._

Harry shrugged. "In that moment, yes."

 _No no, little one. You are both. Have been._ ** _Always_** _._ Then to his horror, Death moved towards him. It floated, the cloak's fringes dragging on the white ground.

 _The Philosopher's Stone; selfish because you wanted to protect your home, selfless because you manipulated your comrades and made them leave._

It circled around him, the Deathly Hallows always fixated on him.

 _Your suicide; selfish because you wished to be with your … 'family', selfless because you killed the horcrux within you and wanted to bring Voldemort down for purely valiant reasons._

It stopped behind him and brought its dull scythe to scrape across his neck.

 _And now this, your second suicide and murder; selfish because you are tired of life, selfless because you lived your life with no regrets for your parents._

Its 'chin' rested on his right shoulder. _Harry ignored the rapid beating of his heart, the cold sweat and clammy hands._

"So? Everyone thinks about those things. Selfish reasons to motivate them, and selfless reasons to justify their actions."

 _Oh, but never at the same time._ Harry could feel that Death was pleased. _And you, you have so much courage within you._

"I was sorted in Gryffindor, I'm not surprised."

 _No no no, little one. Little Harry._ ** _Precious_** _._

Bone hands wrapped around his throat.

 _All humans are cowards. Young Hermione was a coward for placing more faith on adults and not herself. Tiny Tom was a coward for running from Me. Baby Albus was a coward for not accepting that he is a human being, that he makes mistakes._

"Dumbledore and Hermione aren't cowards!" He hissed. He tried to pull away from the boney hand (rotting flesh, blood tipped nails). It only tightened its hold.

 _But they are. They are humans. They scare oh so easily. They are scared of the unknown, scared of losing all rational thought. Scared for themselves. But you? You are never scared._

The hold tightened even more, his breaths laboured. _You, little Harry, Precious, precious_ ** _precious_** _Harry. You are_ ** _fearful_** _. Fearful of others. Fearful of the safety of your family. Fearful of not following their expectations._

The voices were caressing his ear; it was innocent and seductive, wise and immature. _But never, have you_ ** _ever_** _, allowed your fear to overwhelm you and make you cower._

He was being strangled by Death. He was dying when he was already dead.

And his chest was fucking burning.

 _Little Harry, Precious precious. You've captivated me._

 ** _I want you._**

* * *

If she thought Chigusa's swordsmanship was sad, his hakuda skills was just depressing. _You fool, block instead of dodging! No, what type of stance is that? It looks like you're just doing a pirouette - wait, you definitely did…_

Thirty minutes into their second lesson, and Rukia finally had enough. Rushing forward she blocked Chigusa's flimsy arm strikes and kneed him in the stomach. The force was enough to have her fukutaichou double over and spit out a glob of saliva.

Cold violet eyes watched her student fall down on his knees, clutching at his chest. "I'm not expecting anything great from you in hakuda, but you're not even trying. Where was the killing intent from yesterday?"

The boy didn't respond. He just sat there, arms wrapped around him, breath uneven and harsh. _This is not going to work_. Oh, Rukia knew from the moment she set eyes upon him. He wasn't driven; Chigusa had no goal, no dream.

 _I can be one of the best teachers in Seireitei, but all my skills will be useless if he doesn't want to get better. And… it seems that our conversation yesterday only made it worse_. There was no mistaking the bags under Chigusa's eyes, his pale skin and messy uniform. He had a rough night, most likely from thinkingg over what she said to him yesterday.

She bent down, her forefinger poking the top of her student's head. "What do you want to do?"

"Huh?"

She stepped away from her lieutenant, wiping the sweat from her brow with her uniform's sleeve. "You thought over what I said yesterday. Are you going to try and be a lieutenant, or will I have to tell Ukitake-taichou that you'll be unable to fulfil all your duties indefinitely?"

The boy finally looked up, and she couldn't help but see how lost and vulnerable he looked. What was once vibrant green eyes now looked dull and distant. He didn't look at her; he looked through her.

"I… I don't know."

Rukia swallowed back a sigh. _I'm more of a psychiatrist than a tutor_. Nevertheless, she knew how important it was to have Chigusa get some sort of drive. Lack of ambition led to shorter life spans, after all.

"It all just sprung on you, right? The sudden fame, your quick graduation and immediate promotion. You don't know how to react." While Chigusa didn't agree to her deductions, he didn't disagree either. "Tell me again, what was your original plan?"

He didn't respond for quite a while, but Rukia was stubborn and resilient. She could wait.

"Before I enrolled in the Academy, or after?" _At last, some progress_.

"Your first plan, then."

It was unnerving to see her caustic and cynical lieutenant so quiet. So melancholic. "I wanted to sleep." His hands, bandaged in white gauze after the blisters he received from yesterday, clenched into a tight fist. "I just wanted to keep on sleeping."

Chigusa closed his eyes shut, teeth grinding. "I'm so tired, Rukia. So, _so_ tired. I'm sick of seeing blood, sick of just constantly _fighting_. I just wanted to sleep."

She knew he wouldn't cry. From the look of his face, Chigusa long lost the ability to do so. "Then what changed your plans? What made you enroll into the Academy to become a Shinigami?" Surely he knew what the job of a shinigami was. It wasn't for everyone; They were demanded to fight, demanded to protect but bleed and let other bleed.

His shoulder shook, then arms and fist. "My zanpakutou," he whispered. "My zanpakutou made me go back and become a soldier once more."

* * *

Rukia called for a week-long break after. While his goal was unusual, it was still something that she could work with. The need to control his zanpakutou and not rely on it was more than enough to push her lieutenant to learn the shinigami arts.

 _Besides, I have other problems to deal with._ The chat she had with him answered some questions but opened another can of worms.

 _Could it possible... Chigusa could remember his past life?_ _'Become a soldier once more'?_ _One of the criminal syndicates in Rokungai might have taken advantage of his high reiyroku._ But didn't he say that he cut himself off from everyone during his first two years as a soul? _It would certainly explain his lack of understanding of the aging process here._ But then, how the fuck did he enroll into the Academy?

She bit her thumb. _To enroll into the Academy, you must take the entrance exam where you will be tested on all four shinigami combat skills. You must have a certain amount of reiryoku to even be able to pass the entrance gate, and have the basics of hakuda, zanjutsu, hoho, and kido._ She looked over the Kuchiki compound, idly watching the occasional koi fish that scratched the surface of the pond. _These requirements not only weed out weak souls but also prevent newly arrived souls from entering_.

And yet Chigusa managed to pass through. _It can't be because he managed to obtain his zanpakutou's shikai; they only found out about it after he was accepted in._ She let out a sigh. "I'll have to see his results in the Entrance Exam," she muttered.

"Rukia." That one word brought her away from her musings. Turning to her right she was faced with her brother, Kuchiki Byakuya. The 6th Captain of the Gotei 13 was still in full shinigami garb, his white haori immaculately ironed with his division number emblazoned in the back.

"Nii-sama," Fluid grace that was becoming of the Kuchiki nobility, she stood up and gave a bow. Her brother gave a nod in return, accepting and bringing the end of formal greetings.

Byakuya stepped out into the compound grounds, swiftly taking out his white tekkō. "Walk with me, Rukia." Without any hesitancy she joined her brother, a step behind as they ventured the grounds. As they walked across a small red bridge that passed by the koi pond, Byakuya finally spoke.

"Something is bothering you, making you unable to complete your duties as efficiently as usual."

"Yes, nii-sama. Ukitake-taichou has asked me to tutor Chigusa Koga, the new lieutenant of the 13th Division, in the shinigami arts." Ruck could practically feel the disgust from her brother.

"Why? Is Chigusa-fukutaichou more incompetent than what I have seen?" She chose neither to agree or disagree to his question.

"I have only taught Chigusa-fukutaichou for two days; the first in zanjutsu, the second in hakuda. From what I've seen, his skills in just those two fighting styles are lower than that of a recently enrolled soul in the Academy."

Byakuya suddenly stopped in the middle of the bridge, leaning at its dark red railings. "Such abysmal skills. What is Ukitake-taichou thinking, allowing a whelp to take on such a demanding position?" He looked towards his adopted sister, who also joined him in gazing out in the compound. "You wish to see how he fared in the entrance exam?"

"Yes, nii-sama, along with any of his tests and classwork if possible. It will help me prepare a more efficient method in teaching Chigusa-fukutaichou, along with understanding his thought process."

Byakuya's fingers tapped on the wooden railing. "I am curious as well. If what you are telling me is the truth, then Chigusa-fukutaichou found a hole through the entrance exam. I will help you in this endeavour, Rukia."

While she merely nodded her head in acquiescence, inside Rukia was jumping for joy. _Another way to connect with nii-sama! I will not fail him._ Besides, she too was curious about her student. The skills she'd seen didn't match up with the supposed power-house that Ukitake-taichou and the lieutenants said.

 _You are hiding something, Chigusa, and I plan to dig every little secret out into the open_.

* * *

 _"What do you want to do?"_

It was a simple question to ask, but so difficult to answer. What do you want to do? By Rukia's not so subtle hints, it was obvious he was being asked about his plans for the future. _What do I want to do with my life now?_

He was sprawled across his futon, staring at his beige ceiling in the 13th Division barracks. light seeped through the cracks underneath the shoji doors, but it was dull enough to not bother him. He looked at the corner of his room, where the blank sword was propped. He kept it by his side just for ornamentation, something that made him look normal. But he knew his zanpakutou was with him, flowing through his blood and pumping through his heart. _Hmm, interesting that I have a heart even though I'm just a soul_.

His goal, that was what Rukia wanted to know. It was a good question to ask; knowing his goal, she'll be able to motivate him to work. _But giving me a week to think about it… isn't that a bit much?_

 _"What do you want to do?"_

Many things. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to kill his zanpakutou. He wanted to be back home, back to _his_ dimension with _his_ type of heaven. Or hell; he did kill so many people. _Rigel…_

 _"What do you want to do?"_

What did he want to do?

"I want to die again." The minute those words passed his mouth his heart stopped beating for a second. He could imagine it, see the black cracks appearing first where his heart would be, then continue to engulf his entire body. Black pigments, black blood, black _sin_.

"I want to kill you."

He knew the cracks were now caressing his face, most likely wrapping around his eyes to make it look like he still wore his infamous glasses.

"I want to destroy my life as Chigusa Koga,"

Dark, hysterical laughter, followed by condescending teases and coos.

"And go back to being Harry Potter."

 _"What do you want to do?"_

"I just want to go back home."


End file.
